Means to an End
by xenascully
Summary: When McGee loses everything, it's up to his team to convince him otherwise; before it's too late... Team-centric/ Friendship/ Family. Now added possible alternate ending!
1. Chapter 1

**Means to an End**

**Rated: T for language, violence, suicidal themes...**

**Summary****: When McGee loses everything, it's up to his team to convince him otherwise; before it's too late...**

**Disclaimer****: Really? Every time? Okay...I don't own NCIS, but I like to play with them... (Every time I gotta say that, I get all the closer to PTSD...)**

**A/N****: If you're not into long character-focused emotional stuffs, this definitely isn't the story for you. Fair warning... **

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

Special Agent Timothy McGee sat, fully clothed, in his dry bathtub. Leaning his head against the cold tiles of the shower wall, he went through a mental checklist, attempting to confirm he hadn't forgotten anything he needed to take care of before he could continue.

A letter to his family sat next to his computer in a sealed envelope. There was plenty of money in his account so this wouldn't be a burden on anyone. He'd set up a delayed sending of emails to each of his co-workers, which they would receive the following morning. And he'd made sure to keep this as simple, quick and least messy as possible for whoever ended up finding him first.

Tim closed his eyes, recalling the events of the past week; every moment that had brought him from complete and utter bliss, down to the deepest possible pit of despair and hopelessness that his life had become. The fact that happiness had so easily been ripped from his very being...so quickly...this next and final step held him in a weightless feeling of being just another moment before peace. Soon, he would have that peace.

He opened his eyes to look down at the cold Sig in his hand and his fingers squeezed painfully around the barrel before slipping it into its proper position. McGee wasn't even fooling himself; he was terrified. But it wasn't a fear that would keep him from bringing an end to the pain that had completely consumed him. Of that much, he was certain.

Tim cocked the weapon, gripping it in his hand and studying it for a few moments longer. Then he slowly picked it up and aimed it at his temple. "I'm sorry..." he closed his eyes...

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**Tbc...**


	2. Chapter 2

**10 days earlier...**

Agent Ziva David skimmed through her email inbox, meticulously. Her efforts mainly focused on ignoring, or rather not setting off Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's usual pattern of office antics. The efforts were in vain, however, as she felt a rubber-band skim dangerously close past her head. She sent him a glare as fair warning, then returned to her screen.

It wasn't ten seconds later that one of the bands hit her chest and she let out a huff, "Tony! Please!" she glanced over at McGee's vacant desk. "Where is McGee, so that you will get out of my head?"

Tony smirked at her, "Out of my _hair_," he corrected. "And what makes you think McGoo showing up will stop my attacks on _you_?" he raised a brow.

"Either way," she said through squinted eyes as she leaned forward on her desk, "If one more rubber-band flies in my direction, I will return fire and you will not have use of your right eye for a week." Her words were quiet, but firm and completely serious. Tony held up his hands in surrender, a smirk still mildly playing on his lips, although he had no doubt in his mind that she would follow through. Satisfied that her threat would halt any further disruptions, Ziva went back to her emails.

Not another ten seconds later, she felt yet another band smack her in the forehead. Without so much as a second's delay, she fetched the projectile and shot it toward the offending partner who flung himself backward, throwing his arms up to cover his face. Though the band didn't make it to her intended mark, Tony's defensive moves sent him crashing into the filing cabinet and falling out of his chair with a thud onto the floor. Ziva laughed through her nose, satisfied at the self-inflicted form of punishment.

The elevator opened on their floor and McGee hurriedly made his way to the bullpen, inwardly grateful that Gibbs wasn't there at the moment as he got to his desk. Tony sheepishly pushed himself up off of the floor, trying to inconspicuously straighten his clothes as he made a face at Ziva before turning to the untimely agent. "You're late, Probie."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry," he said as he hung his jacket up and sat down in front of his computer. "I was uh...a little held up, this morning," he explained.

Tony appraised him for a long moment, realizing something he just couldn't let slide without investigating deeper. "You seem a bit disheveled," he said with narrowed eyes. "Just how, exactly, were you held up now?"

"None of your business, Tony," he said, hoping he would leave it alone.

Tony flashed a grin, "You were late for something _really_ good, weren't you? I can tell...you had a _very_ good morning, didn't ya, McTardy?" he pushed.

"Would ya drop it?" he said, looking up at the agent standing close beside the desk.

"I can tell by your face," he continued. Tony's expression changed into one of shock and amazement, "You...you had buenos dias sex, didn't you?"

Tim's face immediately flushed, "Damn it, Tony..."

"You _did_! Probie! I'm so proud of you," he gleamed. "I didn't even know you went out last night."

"I didn't," he replied as he tried to busy himself on the computer.

Tony squinted as he slowly made his way toward Ziva's desk without taking his eyes of McGee. "I think McGoo has a girlfriend and he's been keeping it from us," he said.

"Is this true, McGee?" Ziva asked with an inquisitive brow. Tim glanced briefly at each of them before returning his gaze to his screen.

"Okay, spill it. What's wrong with her? Facial hair? Man hands? Don't tell me you've adopted a stripper with all your money..."

"There's nothing wrong with her," McGee looked over at him with a defending tone. "She's perfect."

"Not a level 5 sorceress..." Tony narrowed his eyes.

"No."

"Where did you meet her?" Ziva asked as she and Tony approached Tim's desk slowly.

"Well...originally, we met online. Talked for a few months, then decided to start dating," he waited for the inevitable swings that would come.

"How do you know she's not a serial killer?" Tony quipped.

"She's not a serial killer, Tony," he said with narrowed eyes. "She's beautiful, smart, funny..."

"There's gotta be something wrong if she's dating _you_," Tony said sarcastically.

"Hilarious, DiNozzo. But you're wrong."

"How long have you been dating her?" Ziva inquired.

"A little over six months, now," he replied. Shock washed their faces at his answer and Tony looked at Ziva.

"Ya know, I _thought_ he was lookin' a bit too cheerful lately. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out..."

"Why did you not tell us?" Ziva asked.

"Because I didn't wanna jinx it," he replied. "And to be honest, I didn't know if it was going to develop into anything, and I didn't wanna give Tony anymore ammo if it ended badly."

"I guess that is acceptable enough," Ziva said then glanced at Tony before returning to her desk.

Tony sneered at her then look back at Tim, "So she's hot, then? Got any pictures?"

"Do you really think I'd bring them with me to the office, the way you constantly snoop around through my stuff?"

"Good point," he replied. "Sure it's not because she's a dog?" he smirked.

Tim stood with a furrowed brow, "She's not a dog. Don't ever talk about her that way again," he defended.

"Okay, okay," Tony backed off with his hands up. "Gee, Probie, calm down. I was just messin' with ya."

"You can mess with _me_ all you want. But don't bring Kendra into it," he calmed slightly.

"Kendra...that's a nice name. Like the Girls Next Door. Is she blond?" he grinned.

"Brunette," he sank back down into his chair. "Really pretty blue-green eyes," a small grin broke out on his face. "And she can dance...she's a dancer. No- not a stripper, Tony, so don't go there. She teaches ballet downtown. She's really good."

"Dancers are very...flexible," Ziva commented with a smirk.

"Yeah," McGee grinned, but quickly wiped it off his face. "She's really good with computers, too. She went to school to learn programming. But her real passion is dance. I think I like that about her."

"Does she have a sister?" Tony asked, semi-seriously. McGee cocked his head at him.

"No time for setting up dates, DiNozzo," Gibbs said as he entered the bullpen. "We've got a dead Marine."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"So, you are getting serious with Kendra?" Ziva asked McGee as they photographed the crime scene.

"I think so," he smirked. "She told me she loved me."

"And do you feel the same?"

Tim paused for a long moment, "Yeah, I do. It took me a few minutes to get over the shock when she told me...and I think I might've unintentionally freaked her out a bit when I didn't respond right away."

"But this morning must have cleared things up for the both of you, yes?" she said before the corners of her mouth turned up.

"Oh...uh, well...the 'I love yous' came a couple weeks ago. This morning was just...something spontaneous and unexpected. Usually we don't do sleeping over, on account of me having to be at work pretty early and her shows usually run pretty late. Kendra passes out fairly early after a show night. But she had the night off..."

Ziva took a moment to appraise her partner and friend. He seemed very happy and content. It was a rare occasion to have seem him this way, but the more she thought about it, he'd seemed that way for a while now. "She must be very special," she said. "You seem very happy."

"I am," he replied with a smile.

"So, when do we get to meet her? Or...do you still believe we will somehow jinx the relationship?"

"Uh...well, I was joking about that, of course, Ziva. There's no such thing as a jinx."

"Of course there is, McGee," she defended.

"Even so... I'd love for you all to meet her, and for her to meet you all, of course. Maybe we can all go out to dinner sometime this week. I'll talk to her tonight about it."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"Help me to turn him so that we may have a look at his back, Jimmy," Ducky told his assistant. The two men readied themselves on either side of the cold table and slowly tipped the body on its side.

"Scratch marks," Palmer said when he saw the bright lines across his skin.

"Yes, I see. What do you make of them?" he looked up at the young man, already having an idea in mind himself, but wanting to see if his assistant could come to the same conclusion.

"Well," Jimmy began, but his face reddened a little.

"Well, what, Mr. Palmer?" Ducky pushed.

"Well...I had a girlfriend a while back who uh...well, what I mean to say is...she would leave scratch marks like this during...intercourse..."

Ducky gave a small grin, "Precisely. And well done, Jimmy." The assistant wasn't sure whether he meant the discovery, or the fact that he'd made a girl scratch down his back. So his face showed a mixture of confusion and pride. "Let's set him back down," Ducky said. "The scratches are fairly recent, which could imply they were done quite soon before his unfortunate demise. Perhaps there will be some DNA under his _own_ fingernails that could lead us to whom he was with." The body was on its back again and Dr. Mallard grabbed a small scraping tool and lifting the Marine's hand to begin scrapping under the nails. "A specimen jar, if you please."

"Got it," Jimmy replied where he stood at his side, prepared. Ducky turned and placed the specimen in the jar.

"Straight up to Abby, then," he told him.

"Yes, Doctor," Jimmy screwed the top on and headed out of autopsy.

"Well, my dear boy," Ducky said to the dead Marine, "At least your final moments were enjoyable, or so it would seem. For someone else, however, it would be obvious to conclude that it wasn't nearly as entertaining."

"What do ya got for me, Duck?" Gibbs asked as he strolled in toward the older M.E.

"Ah, Jethro...well not much more than I've already surmised at the scene. Time of death was indeed between ten and twelve hours ago. The Lieutenant was strangled to death and by the look of the bruising around his neck, I'd have to conclude that it was a male attacker."

"Was there reason to suspect it was a woman?" Gibbs raised his brows as he stood on the other side of the cold table.

"Mr. Palmer and I discovered scratch marks down this man's back. Not deep enough to draw blood; most likely done in the throes of passion. I've got some possible DNA from under his fingernails being sent up to Abby for analysis."

"So the scratches are recent," Gibbs surmised.

"Quite. And yes, Jethro, I do believe they were done by a woman," he smirked. Gibbs cocked his head and gave him an amused look. "Unless you'd like to believe whatever man he may have been with, had a french manicure."

"Lift any prints?" Jethro asked with a small smirk still evident on his face from the doctor's words.

"None. In fact, it would seem he was wiped down. Almost looks like his might have taken a shower, except that his hair seems a bit greasy and unwashed. And I wouldn't have been able to pull anything from his nails, had that been the case. Whoever did this, planned it; however hastily. And from the lack of self-defense wounds, I'd say he knew his attacker and most likely had been sleeping when it began."

"Could've said that much from the fact we found him in his bed, Duck."

Ducky laughed quietly through his nose, "Well, as we can clearly see, beds are not solely for sleeping, Gibbs."

"Have you had a chance to do a psych profile?" he asked.

"I've barely finished the autopsy," he defended.

Gibbs turned and began his departure, "Thanks, Duck. Lemme know when you've got more for me."

Ducky sighed and turned back to the body before him. "Impatience is most definitely not always a virtue. Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Smith?"

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

Abigail Sciuto slid the prepared DNA sample into the mass spectrometer for analysis as she lightly danced to the blaring heavy metal music that filled her lab. She then turned to the evidence table and began systematically closing the bags and writing on each one as she went. She was startled when the music suddenly stopped and she looked up to see Gibbs as he approached her.

"Hey, Gibbs," she smiled. "I don't have anything for you, yet. Why are you here?"

"Apparently, for nothing," he said as he gripped a large Caf-Pow in his hands.

She eyed it, greedily, before meeting his eyes, "I might be able to find something faster if I had a boost," she grinned and narrowed her eyes.

He smirked and raised a brow, "You didn't find _anything_?"

"Well, I didn't find any prints that didn't belong to Lieutenant Smith," she replied as she shifted through the bags. "There's an empty condom wrapper, but no used condom found at the scene. Which, I guess, is kind of unusual. His prints were on the wrapper, so I assume it was for _him_."

"Might've flushed it," Gibbs suggested.

"Maybe. But, ew," she made a face. "Ducky found some DNA under Smith's nails and I'm running it through the mass-spec now. It could be a while."

"How long?"

"I can't guess these things, Gibbs. It depends on the quality of the sample. And before you argue with me, no, I can't magically speed up the process. My babies need time to do their job. You can't bribe _them_ with delicious, caffeinated, carbonated beverages..." she eyed the cup again. He smirked and handed it to her. "Thanks, Bossman," she smiled and took a long sip.

"Call me when your babies find somethin'," he said as he departed.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"I can't believe you've managed to keep Kendra a secret all this time," Tony told Tim as his chair spun to face him.

"Is it really so hard to believe?" he asked.

"Guess I'm just surprised you never get any calls at work."

"She works almost as much as I do, Tony. And we have an understanding about calls. We meet for lunch as much as possible, though."

"Which isn't very often," Tony reminded him.

"I'm aware," he retorted. "We make up for it by spending most of our free time together," a soft smile appeared on his face as he continued to look at his screen and work.

"Maybe that's why she's still around," Tony joked. "She hasn't spent much time with ya."

"Are you _trying_ to be a douche-bag? Or can you even help it, anymore?" Tim glared at him.

"I do not think he can help it," Ziva interjected. "I think it is very sweet that you have found a nice woman, McGee. You deserve it."

"Thank you, Ziva," he smiled at her, briefly, before returning to his work.

"Sit-rep," came a growl as Gibbs entered the bullpen. All three agents stood and went to the screen, Tony grabbing the remote to give his report first.

Pulling up the Marine's military ID on the screen, he began, "Lieutenant Jamie Smith, twenty-seven. Joined the corp five years ago. Served a tour in Iraq twice; both times with the same team."

Tim took the remote and brought up a picture of the team, "Three other Lieutenants; Gregory Chester, Jennifer Casting-Chester and Mark Howell."

"Husband and wife on the same team?" Gibbs asked for confirmation.

"They were married two years ago, in between tours," McGee stated. "They're apparently able to keep personal and professional separated to the point they received approval to continue to be on the same team."

"Any altercations within the team?" Gibbs asked.

"It would seem they all get along very well," Ziva replied. "I have contacted Lieutenant Howell who agreed to come in for questioning. Neither of the Chesters are answering my calls."

"Keep tryin' them," Gibbs said, then his desk phone rang and he moved to answer. "Yeah. Gibbs." He paused to listen to the voice on the other line. "Be right down," he hung up. "Abby's got somethin'. DiNozzo, McGee, with me. Ziva, keep tryin' to call."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"DNA came through faster than I thought," Abby told the team. "I ran it through the system and got a match almost immediately because she's in the military database." She pulled up the image on screen.

"Jennifer Casting-Chester," Gibbs confirmed.

"Yep," Abby replied. "Served in Iraq with Smith."

"Did a lot more than that, apparently," Tony chimed in. "No wonder they're not answering."

"Husband musta walked in and caught them together," Gibbs said.

"Then strangled Smith," McGee surmised. "Hopefully we're not looking for another body, as well," he considered the possibility.

"That's good work, Abs," he said as he turned to leave the lab. "DiNozzo, take McGee and go pick up the Chesters. You got an address?"

"Yeah, Boss," McGee answered.

"What makes you think they're actually gonna be home?" Tony queried. "They could be halfway to China by now."

"Doubt they'd run," Gibbs replied as they entered the elevator. "He cleaned up after himself, so he might think we've got nothing on him. And unless he's holdin' his wife hostage, she's an accessory. If you don't find 'em home, stake the place out till they return."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**Tbc**


	3. Chapter 3

Tim and Tony sat in the car outside of the Chesters' house, awaiting their return. "So uh..." Tony started as he narrowed his eyes at his partner. "Sorry if I pissed you off, earlier, Probie. I really am happy for you, ya know?"

"Really?" McGee looked at him with a hint of disbelief.

"Well, yeah," he grinned. "You deserve a nice girl. You're a good guy. Besides, at least _one_ of us has to have some kinda normal love-life. Sometimes I think this team is cursed in that department," he smirked and looked back toward the house.

"Thanks, Tony," he replied with a furrowed brow. "But I don't think the team is cursed. I think we just...don't have time for this kinda stuff. It's demanding. Sometimes I wonder how doctors manage to find love, seeing as their schedule is even worse than ours." He looked back at the house as well.

"Doctors have money," Tony retorted. "Sometimes a big house and a couple of shiny cars are all it takes to win a girl's heart."

"_I _have money," McGee said, a look of sudden, yet slight, panic taking over his expression.

Tony didn't miss it, "Knowing you, though, you haven't told her that."

Tim looked over at him, "No, I haven't. H-how would you know that?"

"I just do. You're pretty secretive and you don't gloat. I'm betting you haven't even told her where you work yet," he smirked.

"Yes, I did," he replied. "But not until we'd been dating for a while and started getting serious. It's kinda hard to build a relationship when you're hiding things all the time."

"Preachin' to the choir, Probie," Tony winced a bit.

McGee realized, then, what had struck a chord. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean-"

"Nah, it's okay," he laughed it off. "That was different; that was work." It _had_ been work, but McGee knew as well as the rest of them that Tony had fallen for Jeanne Benoit during his undercover assignment. It was stupid, and Tony knew it. But you can't choose who you love. "Hey," Tony leaned forward a bit as he spotted a car pulling into the driveway. "Let's go."

The two of them exited the car and made their way toward the couple. When the Chesters spotted them approaching, Gregory pushed Jennifer back into the car. "Hey!" Tony shouted, "NCIS! We need to talk to you!" Gregory ignored him and got into the driver's seat, quickly slamming the door and throwing the car into reverse. Tony stood a few feet behind the car, drawing his badge and weapon. "Stop!"

McGee had his weapon drawn as well, but the car continued barreling back towards Tony. Tim thought quickly and fired at the front tire, causing Gregory to step on the breaks, but not before hitting Tony and knocking him to the ground with a thud. "Get the hell outta the car!" McGee shouted as he aimed his gun at Chester. "You okay, Tony?"

He heard his partner cough, "Y- yeah...just..." he coughed again, "Gimme a minute."

As Gregory exited the car with his hands on his head, Tim roughly turned him around and pushed him up against the car before cuffing him.

Jennifer got out of the car, "Oh my god, are you okay?" she asked as she went to Tony. "I'm so sorry... He said he'd kill me if I didn't do as he said," she was in tears. "He...he killed someone..."

"Yeah, we know," Tony pushed himself up off of the street and secured his weapon. "In case it wasn't already clear, we're gonna have to bring you in..."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

McGee was booking Gregory Chester after Gibbs was through with the interrogation. Tony exited the observation room and found Gibbs in the hall. "You okay?" he asked his senior agent. "McGee said Chester hit you with his car."

"I'm fine, Boss. Just got the wind knocked outta me."

"You should let Ducky check you out, just in case," he suggested, narrowing his eyes in slight concern.

"Really, I'm good," he protested, but Gibbs gave him a demanding glare. "Guess I'll...let him check me over anyway...ya know, just in case." Gibbs smirked as Tony turned to walk away toward the elevator.

"All set, Boss," McGee said behind him and he turned to see two guards escorting Chester down the hall.

"Ya did good, McGee. Let's finish up the report so we can get outta here."

McGee nodded, "If it's okay with you, would you mind if I made a quick phone call?"

Gibbs shrugged, "I don't care," and turned to walk away.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

Gibbs and Ziva sat at their desks typing up their reports when Tony finally decided to join them. Gibbs looked up as the agent took a seat at his own desk. "Everything check out okay?"

"Nothing's broken," he smirked.

"You're lucky," Gibbs told him. "What the hell were you thinkin', standin' behind a moving car?"

"It wasn't moving when I stepped behind it!" he defended. "I didn't think he'd actually try and run me over... Besides, McGee stopped him before he did any real damage. Speakin' of, where'd Probie run off to?"

As if on cue, McGee stepped off of the elevator and made his way toward the bullpen. "Hey, guys," he said as he rounded to his desk. "What're you all doing tomorrow?"

"Well, tomorrow's Saturday," Tony started. "First thing I'll be doing is sleeping in. Unless we get called in, of course..."

"I meant tomorrow evening," he clarified. "It's the only night Kendra will have off for a week. She's really eager to meet you all and wants us to go out to dinner; maybe have a few drinks, if you're free?"

"Kendra?" Gibbs inquired.

"McGee's girlfriend he has been hiding from us for over six months," Ziva explained.

"I wasn't hiding her from you," McGee blushed slightly. "But yeah, I'd really like you to meet her."

"I would love to, McGee," Ziva told him with a small smile.

"Guess I could clear my calendar," Tony said with a smirk.

"Great," Tim smiled, then turned to look at Gibbs who had, what he could only describe as, an amused look on his face.

"Sure, McGee. Sounds good." McGee flashed a smile and nodded in appreciation. He couldn't help but to feel a bit excited; perhaps a bit nervous as well. "Let's get these reports done, then."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"I love you, Timothy McGee," Kendra said as she snuggled in close to her lover in her bed.

"I love you, too, Kendra Apperson," he smiled and she kissed him. "I just hope you'll still love me after dinner with my team tomorrow night."

"Oh come on," she playfully swatted him. "I practically know them, already, the way you talk about them. They're like your family."

"I'm mostly worried Tony might do something to embarrass me for his own personal amusement. Or that he'll see how incredibly beautiful you are and try to steal you from me," he smirked and ran a hand through her hair.

"Well, I can promise you I'll shoot him down embarrassingly if he tries," she reassured him. "But I don't think he will. He sounds more like a big brother than a bully." She leaned in to place a peck on the tip of his nose. "Will you stay the night, again?" she asked.

"No place I'd rather be," he told her as he pulled her tighter against him...

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"What's going on?" Tim was pulled from his sleep by a mixture of sounds. The phone had started ringing mere moments ago, and now Kendra was throwing on clothes in the middle of the bedroom. "What's wrong, Kendra?"

"One of my girls is in the hospital," she explained. "She was in a car wreck and I'm listed as her medical proxy."

"Is it serious?" he asked with concern.

She met his eyes, "Serious enough for them to call _me_. I'm the only family she's got, Tim."

"Is it Andrea?" he threw the covers off of himself as she nodded. "I'm going with you."

"You don't have to do that," she shook her head.

"Of course I do," he furrowed his brows as he pulled his shirt on and stepped up to her. "Like you said, she's like family. If anything, at least let me drive you." He could tell that she was afraid by the look in her eyes. There was no way he would let her drive herself like this.

"It's like four in the morning," she said and she slipped on her shoes.

"I'm a federal agent," he cocked his head. "I've been called in earlier than this with expectations of being able to chase down suspects and process crime scenes. I think I can manage going with you to the hospital."

She managed a small smile, "Okay."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"Miss Belle?" the young woman in the hospital, Andrea, was in tears; he leg in a cast and strung up in a device to keep it elevated.

Kendra entered the room with sympathy in her eyes as she approached Andrea's bedside. "Andy, I'm so glad you're okay," she took her hand. "We saw the wreck on the way here. I was terrified."

"We?"

"Tim drove me here. He's worried about you, too. Can he come in?" Andrea looked over at the door to see him standing there, and she nodded.

McGee entered the room and went to stand beside Kendra, "Hey, Andy. Like she said, we're glad you're okay..."

"Okay?" her face scrunched up with more frustration, "Look at me! Look at my leg! How can I ever dance again? This is a disaster!"

"Andy," Kendra sat down beside her on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her cheek as she held her hand with her other. "You'll get better; your leg will heal and you'll rebuild your strength. This isn't the end."

"Did they tell you? It's broken in three places!" fresh tears streamed down her ivory cheeks.

"Yes, they told me. But you listen to me, sweetheart; we'll get through this. I'll help you. You can even stay with me when you get out of here. I'll help with all the physical therapy and everything, okay?"

"Anything you need," Tim added, "I'll be more than happy to help, too."

"See?" Kendra smiled down at the girl. "Everything's gonna be okay, you'll see."

Andrea studied her face for a moment, "Promise?"

"I promise, Andy," she replied with confidence.

A weak smile spread on Andrea's face, then she laughed a little, "Chrissy's gonna have to take my place, ya know. She's horrid."

Kendra laughed, "She's not horrid! She's your understudy. I chose her as a backup because I know she could handle the role if necessary."

"I meant a horrid person," Andy replied with a smirk. "And twice as horrid of a room mate, which is why I'm totally taking you up on your offer once I get out of here."

"Good. Because I would've fought you if you hadn't," Kendra winked at her. "Now get some rest, baby," she bent down to kiss her forehead then soothingly petted her forehead and back into her hair.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"You're really amazing, ya know that?" Tim told her as they drove back toward the house; sunrise creeping over the horizon.

"Yep," she smirked. "I _am_ pretty awesome."

"I'm serious," he laughed.

"Oh me too," she turned in her seat to face him. "I've gotta be pretty special to have kept you around this long."

"Are you kidding me?" he raised a brow. "I should be saying that to _you_."

"No, I'm not kidding, Tim. Usually, my job is pushed aside as fairly unimportant...and because it's so demanding, people just can't wrap their head around it and they get offended and just leave when I don't have the time they demand. But _you_...it's like you completely understand me."

"Both of us have extremely demanding jobs..."

"Yeah, but yours is understandable. You're out saving the world; making a difference; solving crimes. I'm...well, I'm a dancer!" she laughed.

"You're doing what you love to do, just like me," he said. "And you _are_ making a difference. You go above and beyond the call of duty for your students." There was a long moment of silence and he glanced over to see her just looking at him. "What?" he asked nervously.

"I was just thinking about another reason you're so awesome," she smiled. He looked at her questioningly before turning his eyes back to the road. "Any other guy would've argued my offer to let a student recuperate in my home. They would've been pissed, actually. Instead, you were completely supportive; you had my back and even offered to help."

"I'll support anything you decide to do," he replied. "And I care about Andy, too. She's a good girl who's had a relatively horrible life until she met you. You're like her role model."

"She really likes you, too, ya know," she said as she reached out and took his hand.

"Really? I thought she was just being nice for your sake..."

"At first, maybe," she smirked. "But she told me the other day that she thinks you're pretty awesome, too." Tim couldn't help but to laugh. "What? Is it really so hard to believe?"

"Honestly? I dunno... I guess, since _you_ seem to like me, maybe I can believe anything," he smiled at her.

"I do a lot more than _like_ you," she reminded him. He blushed as he pulled the car up in front of her house. "Still wanna sleep over?"

"I think I'm due another few hours, at least," he leaned over to kiss her.

"Yeah, I vote we sleep till lunch."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"Good idea, carpooling, Boss," Tony said as they pulled up in front of the grill/bar. "I'm gonna have to have at least a few beers to take the edge off of the fact Probie's got a girlfriend and I've been single for...too depressing to even begin counting how long."

Gibbs smirked, "Don't take that out on him, DiNozzo. Took him six months to tell us about this. Don't make him regret it."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Boss. I'm proud of him! Not only for managing to have a girl, but that he successfully kept it secret this long," he said as they got out of the car and headed toward the door.

"Looks like we're late," Gibbs said as they spotted Ziva, McGee and Kendra already at the bar.

"Late for being early, maybe," Tony said.

McGee's head turned toward the familiar voices approaching them and he stood, "Hey, guys. This is Kendra," he put a hand on her back as she stood to greet them. "Kendra, this is Gibbs and Tony." She shook each hand in front of her.

"It's nice to finally meet you," she told them.

"Nice to meet _you_," Tony smiled, appraising the brunette beauty. "McGee wasn't lyin' when he said you were gorgeous."

"And he wasn't lying when he said you'd try to charm me," she gave him a mischievous grin. Ziva could be heard laughing through he nose where she still sat at the bar. Gibbs had an amused look on his face.

"Wanna get a table or stay at the bar?" Tim asked Kendra.

"Um...well, I don't really mind either way," she replied. "But we'd have an easier time talking at a table."

*~.~*

Dinner had gone by smoothly, with light, comfortable conversation. They were well into their second drink and openly discussing an equal assortment of embarrassing and heroic moments as a team. Kendra had even ventured as far as talking about her father, who was a cop for most of her life, but retired after a career-ending back injury.

"He really is happy, though," she told them. "And I've heard more recounts of his whacky adventures on the force than I can tell. But when I heard about how your car was stolen, Tony," she laughed, "And used in a robbery then a high-speed chase before it was totaled, I couldn't help but to think about a similar experience my dad told me about."

"Do tell," Tony said, almost sarcastically.

"It wasn't his personal car; thank God. He would've had a stroke! At the time, he had a '67 Gran Torino."

"No way..." Tony seemed in awe.

"Way. She was pretty sweet," she said almost sadly.

"What happened to her?" Tony seemed deeply concerned.

"A neighbor's house caught fire while we were away on vacation," she explained. "But the fire department didn't get it under control until it'd burned down have of _our_ garage, as well."

"Oh no..." Tony barely whispered.

"That's too bad," Gibbs added. "Gran Torino's a good car."

"Yeah, he still gets teary-eyed when he talks about it," she sighed. "But anyway, he'd just been issued a new Dodge Charger work vehicle a few weeks before that," she explained. "He got a call to break up a fight at the local high school. A couple of kids decided they were gonna take it for a joy ride."

"A police vehicle?" Ziva inquired. "How did they manage that?"

"Where we lived, at the time it was pretty common to just leave your keys in your car. Well, needless to say, Daddy never did leave another key in a car from that day forth."

"What happened to the car?" Tony was eager to hear the rest of the story.

"Oh the kids did a pretty good job driving the thing halfway through town," she said. "Until they ran into the back of a truck. Not just any truck, mind you. I know you've seen Back to the Future, Tony..."

"Oh god...not..."

"Yeah. And the windows were all rolled down, so the car was completely filled with...well, I'm not gonna say it out loud. I think you get the picture."

"I have not seen this movie," Ziva said with narrowed eyes.

Gibbs leaned over and quietly responded, "Cow dung."

"Ah," she made a slightly surprised face. "Perhaps I should not have inquired."

Kendra smiled in Ziva's direction, "That's why I didn't say it." She glanced down at her watch. "Oh god..." she turned to Tim, "I didn't realize it was getting so late. I promised Andy I'd go sit with her for a while..."

"That's okay," McGee said with a furrowed brow. "I...can you drive? How much have you had to drink?"

"Not much," she replied. "But maybe I should take a cab..."

"I can drive you," Gibbs offered.

"Really?" her face painted with gratefulness.

"Not a problem," he stood.

"I'll ride with you," Tim said as he stood and laid several twenties down on the table. "Thanks, for coming, guys," he told Tony and Ziva.

"Yeah, it was so nice to meet you," Kendra told them. "Sorry I've gotta run like this..."

"No problem," Tony said with a smirk. "We should do this again!"

"Definitely!" she replied.

"See ya Monday," McGee told them as they headed out.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**tbc**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey...I am sick. And much like the previous chapters, proof-reading hasn't been done. It will be eventually, but right now, I just do not care. Lol. **

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"She seems like a really nice girl, McGee," Gibbs said as they rode back toward the bar.

"Thanks, Boss. She's really great. I don't deserve her," a small smile played on his lips as he concentrated on the road before them.

"Yeah, ya do," Gibbs told him. McGee looked over at Gibbs and the look of surprise on his face make Gibbs smirk. "Thanks for invitin' us out to meet her."

"Thanks for agreeing to come," Tim told him sincerely. "It really means a lot to me."

Gibbs shrugged, "Just don't spread it around; people might start thinkin' I'm not such a bastard after all." Tim let out a small laugh.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**Monday morning...**

McGee was ready to leave for work, but crept quietly back toward the bed and leaned over to kiss Kendra on the cheek. She stirred. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you," he told her. "I've gotta go in. But you can stay as long as you want, as always."

"Mmm...kay. Love you," she said sleepily as she snuggled back down into her pillow. "Oh!" she cracked open her eyes again. "Andy gets out today. You comin' over tonight?"

"'Course. Want me to bring dinner?"

"That'd be so awesome, baby," she lazily grinned before settling back down. He smiled at her before turning to head out. He locked the door behind him and made his way to the car.

*~.~*

"You're here kinda early, Tony," McGee noticed as he entered the bullpen and set his back pack down beside his desk.

"It's not early," Tony squinted up at him from his desk. "So I've been curious; who's this Andy person Kendra had to go see?"

"One of her students," he said as he sank down into his chair. "She got into a wreck and broke her leg in three places."

"Andy's a girl?"

"Her name is Andrea," he cocked his head, pursing his lips as his insinuation. "She's getting out of the hospital today and Kendra offered her to stay at her house while she recovers."

"That's a little...generous," Tony said suspiciously.

McGee sighed. "Kendra's known Andy since the girl was fifteen," he explained. "On her sixteenth birthday, her parents were killed in a plane crash on their way into town to see her."

"That's harsh," Tony winced.

"Well the worse part was the fact that Kendra had no idea she'd run away from home right before they'd met. Her parents hadn't seen her for nearly a year. When she found out, she called them right away and they made the plans to fly in and get her. So she's kinda felt this obligation for her, whether she knows it or not. She always made sure she stayed in school, held down a job at Kendra's studio, and kept her in dance to keep her out of trouble. Andy's like her little sister; that's why she's taking care of her."

"Okay, Probie. You've convinced me."

"Convinced you of what?" Ziva asked as she entered the bullpen, depositing cups of coffee on each of her teammate's desks.

"That Andy's a girl," Tony smirked.

"You thought she was not?" she shot him a questioning look. Tony made a face at her. "She said, very clearly, that she promised she would sit with _her_. Did you not hear?"

"It was kinda loud in there..." he squinted as his eyes darted around sheepishly.

"I think you just hear what you want to hear, Tony," she smirked.

"That's simply not true," he defended.

"Oh I dunno, DiNozzo," Gibbs said as he made his way to his desk. "She may be on to somethin'."

"C'mon, Boss, why are ya sidin' with Ziva?" he nervously grinned as he held his arms out in question.

Gibbs shrugged, "She brought me coffee." His desk phone rang before the senior agent could protest further. As Gibbs answered it, Tony shot a menacing glare at Ziva. After a moment, Gibbs hung up the phone and stood, "Missing Navy Petty Officer," he announced. "Blood in her apartment. McGee," he grabbed a paper out of the fax machine and handed it to him, "You and DiNozzo head over there; check it out. Ziva, call her family, friends, co-workers; anyone she might have been in contact with in the past week. I'll be up in MTAC."

*~.~*

"Looks like it'll be about a twenty minute drive," McGee said as he looked at the directions in the passenger seat.

"Wish I hadn't skipped breakfast this morning," Tony said.

McGee turned to look at him, "Why'd you skip?"

"Nothing appetizing in the vending machines," he replied flatly.

Tim looked at him, confused for a moment. Then he came to a realization, "How early did you come in, exactly?"

Tony glanced at him, then back to the road, "Early enough to have missed breakfast. Doesn't matter, really. I'll grab something later."

"I missed breakfast, too," Tim admitted. "I was a little distracted this morning."

Tony got a mischievous grin, "Oh yeah? Spend the night at Kendra's, did ya?"

"She spent the night at my place, actually," he replied. "But no, that's not why I skipped breakfast. Well, not really. I've just been a little...nervous lately."

"Spill it, Probie," Tony pried.

Tim sighed in resignation. "You like her, right?" he looked over at him.

"Kendra? Yeah. She seems really great. You're not thinkin' she's a spy or anything, are ya?" he joked.

"No...no, nothing like that," he laughed.

"So why are you so nervous?" Tony glanced at him again.

"I uh...I'm gonna propose to her," he said shyly, glancing at at him almost as if for approval.

"Really?" he was genuinely surprised. "Even after all the marriage warning Gibbs always gives us?" he smirked.

"Pretty sure his first one was fine," Tim reminded him. "And yes, I'm serious. I really love her. I've never felt like this with anyone; she's perfect."

"And she really seems to care about you, too," Tony added. "I definitely approve, McGee, if that's why you're tellin' me."

"I told you because you're my friend, Tony. And I was pretty sure that if you thought I was making a mistake, you'd tell me."

"Are you afraid you're makin' a mistake?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

"Not at all," he replied confidently.

"Well, there ya go, then," he smirked. "Did you buy a ring yet?"

"Last week," he admitted. "It's in my desk; the drawer that's now locked, as I'm sure you've realized by now."

"I haven't snooped around your desk in a while, ya know. Only when I think you're hiding something or I run outta stuff to give you crap about," he said playfully. McGee decided to ignore the already obvious fact. "You gonna let me see it before you give it to her?"

"If you want," he replied. "When we get back, if we have time."

"When are you gonna do it?"

"I'm picking up dinner tonight to bring over to her place. Thinkin' about doing it then."

"That's...pretty huge, Tim," he told him. "Just stop bein' nervous. If you throw up, it'll ruin the mood."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Tony laughed at that, "No, really, you'll do fine." He patted him on the shoulder for good measure. "But let me make a suggestion as to what you pick up for dinner..."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"What do ya got?" Gibbs asked Ziva as he entered the bullpen and made his way to his desk.

She stood as she began, "I talked to several people the Petty Officer was very close to. It would seem no one has seen her in the past 36 hours. Last place she was seen was leaving a cafe alone after meeting with friends."

He glanced at the two empty desks, "They back yet?"

"They took the evidence they picked up at her apartment down to Abby," she informed him. "But I have the memory cards from their cameras," she loaded one into McGee's computer and pulled them up on the big screen.

*~.~*

"Ow, Abby!" McGee rubbed his arm where the forensic goth just punched him. "What the hell was that for?"

"For not telling me about your girlfriend! And not inviting me to come meet her with everyone," she pouted.

"C'mon, Abs," he defended. "How am I supposed to introduce you? Don't you think it'd be kinda awkward to bring my ex-girlfriend to dinner with my current one?"

"I'm not your ex-girlfriend, Tim," she said; her features softening a bit. "I'm your _friend_. You don't really look at me everyday and see me as just your ex, do you?"

"'Course not," he said. "It's just...well, I don't wanna lie to her and I'm not sure how comfortable she'd be with the fact that we're still pretty good friends."

"So she knows we dated and that we still work in the same place," she concluded.

"Yeah."

"Well wouldn't she be more suspicious if she found out _later_ that we're friends? Or were you just planning to, like...stop hanging out with me?"

"I plan to talk to her about it," he defended. "I just...haven't had the chance yet and dinner was sort of short-notice."

"Maybe you should let _me_ talk to her," she suggested.

"No!" he said a little louder than he intended.

This is when Tony decided it was time to step in. He placed a hand on Abby's shoulder, "Look, Abby; this isn't just some random girlfriend. It's a serious relationship and you need to let him handle it."

Abby's eyes shifted back and forth between Tony and Tim, then sheepishly she looked down slightly. "Geez, sorry... I didn't mean to sound so...demanding. I've had like four Caf-Pows today already and I'm really on edge." She looked back up at McGee, "I'm sorry, McGee. You know I wasn't trying to be a bitch, right?" He blinked at her a few times. "I just...felt a little left out is all. I thought we told each other everything. That you trusted me..."

"I do trust you, Abby," Tim said with a furrowed brow. "But I really need you to trust me to do this my own way. Okay?"

She raised her brows and nodded. "Am I...still allowed to give you a hug?"

"Of course," he let out a small laugh.

"Just no groping," Tony smirked. "You can save that for me." McGee shook his head at Tony as Abby gave him a hug. "Now get to work, Abs! We have a Petty Officer to find."

"Aye aye!" she saluted and turned back to her computer.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**6 hours later...**

"Hey Kendra," Tim talked into his cell phone after ducking away into the stairwell. "How's Andy doing?"

_"She's ready to check out. Everything okay at work?"_

"Actually, that's what I'm calling about," he said regretfully and sighed. "I'm not gonna be able to come by tonight. I'm really sorry... An officer's life depends on us continuing to look for her."

_"It's okay, Tim," _she assured him. _"Andy's craving pizza anyway. I'll just order in."_

"Are you sure? I could try and run something by..."

_"Really, baby, it's fine! I had a long day training Andy's understudy anyway. We're both exhausted. We'll probably watch a movie, pig out on pizza and pass out on the couch."_

McGee smirked, "I still feel bad for ditching our plans."

_"You're not ditching...and plans made mid-waking aren't set in stone. I promise I won't hold it against you," _he could hear the smile in her voice. _"Besides, I've got tomorrow off. You can make it up to me by bringing...whatever meal you get out of work closest to," _she laughed.

"Have I ever told you how awesome you are?"

_"I'd be more awesome if I offered to make you dinner instead of telling you to bring it."_

"You're a dancer; not a cook...no offense," he laughed.

_"Oh ho! I see how it is, Mister! Just wait till I get my hands on you..."_

"I can't wait," he grinned.

"Mah-Gee!" Gibbs' voice sounded from the stairwell door and Tim spun around.

"Uh...I gotta go. I'll call you later," he abruptly ended the call. "Sorry, Boss."

"Save DiNozzo from his failed attempt to crack into Dwight's accounts," Gibbs told him as they headed back toward the bullpen. Walter Dwight was one in a long list of suspects they'd compiled that day. Since they'd received an untraceable phone call an hour ago demanding they cease their investigation, the clock was ticking to save the Petty Officer's life...

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**tbc**


	5. Chapter 5

**0500...**

"Go take a nap, Probie," Tony insisted as he watched the agent yawn for the hundredth time at his desk.

Tim turned to look at Tony, "You know I can't do that, Tony. I'm standing by to track for Gibbs and Ziva if they call."

"I can keep watch for ya," he offered as he stood. "You can crash on the floor here by my desk and if they call, I'll wake you up." McGee considered the option, skeptically. "On one condition, of course," he grinned.

Tim cocked his head, "I knew there'd be a condition."

"Just wanna see the ring, McGoo," he smirked as he approached the desk. "You said you'd show it to me anyway. And now we've got a free moment."

"Oh," Tim blinked and looked down before reaching into his top drawer for his keys.

Tony crouched down beside McGee's chair, "Sorry about your plans getting ruined, by the way."

"It's okay," Tim told him as he unlocked the drawer. "I'll do it tonight." He pulled out a small white cardboard box and slid the blue velvet box from inside of it. He handed the box to Tony who opened it eagerly.

"This is...wow," Tony carefully pulled the platinum band from its place in the box. "Four carats?"

"Yeah...I wanted to get something bigger, but...well, she's a dancer and I thought maybe it would be a little overkill-"

"No, this is...this is really nice, McGee. Hell, I'd marry ya if this was for me," he stuck it back in its place.

"Somethin' you two wanna let me know?" Both agents' eyes widened as the slowly turned their heads toward Gibbs' voice. He was standing a few feet away in the bullpen, appraising their positions; Tony crouched down in front of Tim with an open engagement ring box in his hand.

Tony realized within moments what it must have looked like, and he abruptly stood, handing the box to McGee, "It's not what it looks like, Boss. That's McGee's engagement ring. Not- not for … it's for Kendra, Boss..."

Gibbs cocked his head and raised his brows as he looked at his younger agent. Tim shoved the box back into his drawer and locked it, "Sorry, Boss. I was keeping it here so she wouldn't find it."

"You're askin' her to marry you, Tim?" he asked. McGee nervously nodded at his boss.

"Even with your many, and very wise, warnings against marriage, in mind," Tony told him.

Gibbs smirked, "Good for you, McGee." He made his way around his desk to sit. Tim smiled, relieved that he had his boss's blessing, however unneeded it might have been; this made it all the better. "Both of you go get some sleep," he told them.

"But what about the Petty Officer?" McGee asked with a furrowed brow.

"We've chased down every lead we had. Abby's on her way in and she can go over what Ziva and I picked up while we were out. In the meantime, go find someplace to crash for a while. Ziva's usin' Abby's futon, so that's out."

"Ducky doesn't have any bodies up for autopsy," Tony said. "Guess we could take the cold tables..."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**0817...**

"McGee," Tony shook the sleeping agent. "Hey, McGee, wake up," he said a bit louder.

Tim began to stir, "Whadya want..." he mumbled.

"Baltimore PD found the Petty Officer's body," he said, regretfully.

Tim pushed himself up and opened his eyes to look at him, "She's dead? How long were we sleeping?"

"Not our fault," he told him as the agent stood off of the table. "Their M.E says she's been dead at least 24 hours. Ducky's on his way there, now. Gibbs and Ziva are already out the door. We need to meet 'em at the scene," he explained as they made their way to the elevator. "We're takin' your car..."

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

"I'd have to concur with the preliminary examination, Jethro," Ducky said as he leaned over the Petty Officer's body. "She was dead before her kidnapper ever made demands."

"Cause?" Gibbs asked.

"I'll need to get her back to my lab to be sure, but it would seem that it was, in fact, accidental."

"Accidental?" Gibbs narrowed his eyes as he crouched down beside him.

"Notice the redness around her eyes," he pointed out. "Most likely, she was suffering from allergies; not so uncommon this time of year."

"What's that got to do with anything, Duck?" Gibbs asked, impatiently.

"The duct tape over her mouth... My guess is that she was bound and stuffed into the trunk of her captor's vehicle, where he wouldn't have noticed her inability to breathe through swollen sinuses."

"She suffocated," Gibbs surmised.

"And he dumped her body once he realized what had happened," Ducky said as Gibbs cell began to ring.

Standing, Gibbs fished his phone from his pocket, "Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Boss, we found the Petty Officer's missing car," _DiNozzo said on the other line. _"It's right here in Baltimore. Abandoned; but there's been a report of a stolen car nearby."_

"Street cams?"

_"Got Abby uploading as we speak,"_ he informed. _"We're pulling evidence from the car now, Boss."_

"I want that car sent to Abby when you're done."

_"On it," _he ended the call.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

**1330...**

_"Hey, Tony," _Abby waved from the screen on Tony's laptop where he sat in McGee's car. _"I know who you're looking for. His name is Bradley Archer," _she pulled up a picture for Tony to see on the screen. _"He's been convicted of petty theft, possession of narcotics, all the fun stuff that goes with that...he's on parole, but failed to show up to his probation officer last week. I think he's on the run..."_

"But he's doing a really crappy job of it," Tony added. "He could've gotten to Mexico by now."

_"Maybe. But I don't think he wants to. He kidnapped that Petty Officer in hopes to cut some kinda deal. I don't think he meant to hurt her; it was just an unfortunately huge oversight that completely foiled his simple plan to get out of trouble."_

"Simple plan, Abby?"

_"Well...simple in his mind," _she explained. _"Think about it; when someone skips their __probation officer meeting, it's usually because they'll fail the drug test, right?"_

"Sure," Tony shrugged.

_"Archer's strung out on narcotics, panics when he misses his appointment, grabs the closest and most seemingly defenseless person he can find, ties her up, throws her in the trunk and steals the car."_

"Then he hides around for two days before even thinking about calling anyone," Tony surmised. "Probably never left DC, kept checking the trunk. I'm guessing he gave her water or she would've died before she did."

_"Yeah. I found two discarded strips of duct tape with her saliva on it, in the trunk."_

Ducky suddenly came into view on the screen, sporting scrubs, _"Yes, the reason we believe they never left DC in those first couple of days, is the fact that she'd been able to survive in the same position without compromised breathing. The pollen count in the air right now in the Baltimore area is far higher than it is here."_

"That'd explain why he didn't feel the need to check on her for a while, I guess," Tony said.

_"Indeed. Um...where is Agent Gibbs, Anthony?"_

"What am I? Chopped liver?" he narrowed his eyes in offense. "I dunno where Gibbs is."

"I'm _tryin_' to take a nap," Gibbs' voice sounded behind him and Tony jumped before turning to see his boss sprawled out uncomfortably in the back seat.

"Jesus, Boss! When the hell did you get back there?" Tony's heart pounded in his chest, and he could hear the soft giggling from the computer.

"I was in here before you were," he replied. "Where's McGee and Ziva?"

"Went to get us something to eat. Should be back soon."

"Takes two agents to get lunch now?" Gibbs asked as he pushed himself up to sit.

"I think McGoo had a phone call to make," Tony grinned.

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

_"You're in Baltimore?"_ Kendra asked.

"Yeah. The missing Navy officer turned up dead. Now we're trying to find the guy who did it," he was sitting in his car as Ziva was still inside the cafe waiting on their order. "Hopefully we'll find him soon so I can get back there. I still owe you dinner."

_"Honey, I'm not upset that we couldn't do dinner," _she assured him. _"But you've been at work for nearly two days without any sleep. How are you even functioning?"_

"I got a few hours in autopsy," he defended.

_"You slept in autopsy... you're gonna take a shower before you come over, right?" _she laughed.

"Ducky keeps his cold tables very clean," he said, returning a small laugh. "But yes, I will shower before coming over."

_"I'm kidding you, Tim. But seriously, don't bring dinner. I'm actually going to attempt to cook, this evening."_

"You sure?"

_"Don't worry; Andy's gonna talk me through it," _she giggled. _"I've got a fire extinguisher standing by, and the Chinese place up the street on speed dial if all goes to hell."_

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he laughed. "I'm sure I'll love whatever you make. And hopefully, I'll be there to try it."

_"I hope so too, Tim. I miss you..."_

"I miss you too," he said, eying Ziva as she came out of the cafe balancing a tray of drinks and a large bag of food. "I gotta go, but I'll call you on my way back to town." He ended the call and quickly got out of the car to relieve Ziva of the drink tray.

"Thank you," she said. "Did you have a nice chat with Kendra?" the corner of her mouth turned up. Tim blushed as he opened the back seat and set the drinks down on the floorboard. Ziva's cell rang and she placed the bag of food in the back seat before answering. "David."

_"Hey, Zi," _Tony's voice sounded from the other end. _"Sending a pic of the guy we're lookin' for to your and McGoo's phones. His name is Bradley Archer. Might be strung out on narcotics."_

"Okay," she replied flatly.

_"BPD said they recovered the second stolen vehicle. So he's drivin' something else now, I assume, unless he's on foot. No one's reported anything else stolen yet."_

"We will keep an eye out."

_"You guys on your way back with lunch yet?" _he asked.

"About to be," she replied, then ended the call. "Let me drive, McGee," she told him. He gave her a questioning, if not frightened, look. "The stolen car was recovered, but no report of another vehicle being stolen yet. Tony sent a picture of the man we are looking for to your phone."

"Why do you need to drive, again?" he asked with narrowed eyes as she approached him outside of the driver side door.

"So that you can do your...magic thing you do on your computer," she said, waving her fingers around on an imaginary keyboard. "Perhaps you can figure out if there is a way to see if he stole another vehicle."

For a moment he simply stood there in thought. "I guess I could try and access street cams again," he said as he made his way to the passenger side. "But I'll need an address from Tony for wherever BPD found the car..."

**11 111 11 111 11**

_"Boss, we found him!"_ McGee shouted into his cell as they tore down the street in pursuit of Bradley Archer. _"Caught sight of him right before we pulled onto the street where you're located. He spotted us and took off."_

"Where are you now?" Gibbs shouted back as he started the engine, Tony pulling his seat belt on as he listened to the conversation.

_"Following him up Jamison Avenue. He's heading south."_

"We're on our way," he replied, ending the call abruptly and throwing the car into drive.

"Take it they're tailing Archer?" Tony confirmed.

"Yeah. And we're gonna take a shortcut to the other end of where he's headed; cut him off." Gibbs slammed onto the gas pedal, Tony silently thanking the heavens he hadn't had lunch yet as he gripped the door to keep steady.

*~.~*

McGee gripped the door for dear life as Ziva sped after Archer's car. "Hold on, McGee," she warned. "He is turning." Tired squealed as she followed pursuit. What she hadn't expected, however, was for Archer to have done a 360 and start heading back toward them at an alarming speed.

"Ziva, look out!" Tim yelled. Ziva slammed on the brakes, but the cars impacted. Ziva immediately exited the driver side door and drew her gun as she made her way to Archer. The man didn't move. His face was covered in blood where it had smashed through the windshield before he fell back into his seat. She reached out, cautiously, to check for a pulse.

"He is dead," she called as she looked back toward McGee. She was startled to see Tim slumped back in his seat; eyes closed. "McGee!" she holstered her weapon and ran back to the car. There was a small gash near his right temple and blood trickled down to his jawline. Ziva threw open the door. Her hands hovered over him, almost afraid to check for a pulse. "McGee?"

Suddenly his eyes opened, "Wha- what happened?" he blinked.

Ziva breathed a sigh of relief. "Archer is dead," she told him. "Are you alright?"

"Think so," he moved to take off his seat belt and they heard a car pull in behind them; tires screeching to a halt.

Tony and Gibbs quickly got out of the car and headed toward them, "What happened?" Gibbs asked.

"Archer is no longer a problem," Ziva reported as Tony went to see for himself. "McGee is hurt."

"I'm fine," Tim insisted as he pushed himself out of the car.

Gibbs stood close in front of him, looking over the agent, and settling his eyes on the head wound. "Your head's bleedin', McGee."

"Yeah, but I'm fine. Really," he told him as he shut the door. "More than I can say for our lunch, though." Gibbs looked at the mess that covered the back seat and smirked.

"Hey," they turned to Tony's voice as he held up a finger. "Ya hear that?" It took a moment, but there was a clear sound of knocking coming from the trunk. Tony met Gibbs' eyes before grabbing the keys from the ignition and rushing to the trunk with the team. As he opened the trunk, they were met by the muted scream of a terrified, bound woman.

"It's okay, Ma'am," Tony told her. "We're here to help you..."

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"Yeah, Abby, everyone's okay," Gibbs assured her over the phone.

_"Did you hear about the chopper incident?" _she asked.

"Been a little busy..."

_"Apparently, a medi-vac helicopter crashed into a residential area downtown. It's all over the news."_

"Anyone hurt?"

_"Besides the people in the chopper? They haven't found anyone yet. But it's kinda freaky to think it happened so close."_

"Lots of things happen so close, Abs... We'll be here a few more hours, at least. I'll see you when we get back," he ended the call. A tow-truck was loading McGee's car behind him, and his team was standing nearby the ambulance as they checked over the woman they'd found in the trunk. Gibbs walked up to stand in front of his team. "Ducky's on his way back here to get Archer's body," he told them. "How you holdin' up, McGee?"

"Better than my car," he winced as he watched the tow-truck pull away with it.

"I am sorry, McGee," Ziva told him. "I should have anticipated-"

"It's not your fault," he told her. "It's okay, really. It's just a car."

"The girl is fine," Tony told them. "Apparently, Archer didn't hurt her. She's still a bit shaken, but no need to go to the hospital. Her husband's on his way to get her, now."

"Tha's good," McGee slurred, and suddenly was falling over.

"Whoa, Probie," Tony caught him with Gibbs' help. "Maybe you should let the medics take a look at you, after all."

"'M fine, Tony. Jus' a little dizzy."

"You could have a concussion," Gibbs said as they led him to the ambulance. "And your head's still bleedin'. Let 'em check you out."

"Okay, Boss..." then everything went black...

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**tbc...**

**A/N: Okay guys...normally, I wouldn't ask this...but I'd like to know if people are even interested in this story, 'cause honestly, I'm not used to this little of feedback. I know I'm going a little slower than normal, but that's because I'm sick and doped up on cold meds; thought process has slowed some. **

**Long story short, I'm more motivated when I know someone's liking what they see. I can't know unless you tell me! ;) thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

McGee awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling, but familiar smell of a hospital room. Glancing down at himself, he realized there was an IV line in his arm. He reached up with the free one to confirm that they'd patched up the wound on his head, then glanced over at Tony, who was sleeping in a chair beside his bed. "Tony," he called.

Tony jolted awake, "Probie, you're up...finally," he said before going into an overly-exaggerated stretch/yawn.

"What time is it?"

"Almost three," he replied after glancing at his watch. "Docs said you had a mild concussion and some dehydration. Guess you should've started lunch without us."

"When can I get outta here?" he asked as a nurse walked in.

"We were just waiting for you to wake up," she said with a smile. "Seems both of you needed some sleep." She prepared to remove the IV.

"Gibbs and Ziva are waiting out there," Tony said as he stood. "They finished up with BPD, so we're just waiting on you to be ready to head back. I'll let 'em know you're up."

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The drive back to NCIS was uneventful; Gibbs drove as Tony and Ziva managed to nap against each window in the back seat. McGee was wide awake in the passenger seat. "Not afraid I'll wreck, are ya?" Gibbs smirked.

Tim furrowed a brow in his direction, then seeing the smirk, realized it was just a joke. "Just wondering if it's a good night to uh...carry through with plans," he said quietly before putting his eyes back on the road before them.

"Gettin' cold feet?" he asked.

"No," he immediately replied. "Not at all. I just...probably look like crap."

Gibbs cocked his head with a smirk, "When she says yes, you'll know she means it."

McGee smiled big and tried to hold in his laughter for the sake of the sleeping agents. "And if she says no?"

"She doesn't _seem_ like a fool to me," he glanced at the younger agent. Tim blushed a bit and ducked his head with a small smile playing on his lips.

*~,~*

"Ziva, DiNozzo, don't worry about startin' that report today," Gibbs said as they entered the bullpen. "Been a long couple of days. Go check in with Abby then go home; I'll see ya first thing in the morning. McGee, I'll give you a lift."

"Uh...I'm actually going to Kendra's house, Boss," he said as he retrieved an item from his desk.

"Kinda figured," he replied.

"Okay...thanks," he slipped the box into his pocket and picked up his backpack, following Gibbs back toward the elevator.

Tony and Ziva decidedly took the back elevator. "McGee seems to be taking it well," Ziva said.

"What?" Tony inquired.

"His car being wrecked," she reminded him.

"Oh. Well, McGoo has other things on his mind, Zee-vah," he told her with a grin.

"Heading to Kendra's house for the evening," she smirked. "I am sure he does."

"Bigger than you think," he replied as the elevator doors opened and they made their way toward the lab. "He's gonna propose to her tonight."

Ziva's eyes widened, "Really?"

"Sshh..." he whispered, "Keep it down. Abby should hear it from _him_."

"Hear what?" Abby asked as they entered.

"Nothing," Tony said, just now realizing there was no music playing. "What's with the silence?"

"Silence? Oh...I've just been watching this news cast," she pointed to the big screen on the wall. "A medi-vac chopper crashed into a neighborhood downtown right around the same time you all left for Baltimore," she explained. "The explosion was so bad, it took almost three hours to get under control. They just now found the bodies of the people who were on-board the chopper."

"Was that a house it crashed into?" Ziva squinted at the screen.

"Two, actually," Abby told her. "They're still not sure if anyone was in either house at the time."

"Well," Ziva sighed, "Gibbs wanted us to check in with you before we went home. I, for one, am exhausted."

"Oh right," Tony snapped back to reality. "McGee's fine; mild concussion. His car wasn't so lucky, though."

"Back up!" Abby held her hands up in the air. "I heard there was an accident, but that's it..."

"We hit the suspect's car," Ziva explained. "McGee hit his head, but he is fine, like Tony just told you."

"Did he see a doctor or anything?" she asked, worriedly.

"Yes-"

"Hey, guys, hold on a sec," Tony said, hushing them so he could hear the news cast. "Turn it up a bit, Abs?"

They gathered in front of the screen as she turned the volume up a bit, "What is it?" she asked.

_"A neighbor has confirmed that the home belongs to a local dance instructor named Kendra Belle. No one can confirm whether or not she was home at the time of the accident, but as we reported earlier, no bodies have been recovered yet from the scene."_

"Oh god..." Tony's heart sank in his chest.

"Do you know her?" Abby asked.

Ziva looked at the stunned agent beside her and answered for him, "Kendra is McGee's girlfriend."

Abby covered her mouth in shock. Then pulled it away, "She probably wasn't home..."

"She was home," Tony said as his eyes darted around. "Her and Andy." He spun around, heading out of the lab as he pulled out his cell...

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"Just take a left here, Boss," McGee said. "Wonder what all this traffic and commotion is about." The street was lined with cars and people. Up ahead, the two agents saw fire trucks, ambulances and police cars. That's when Tim realized there was something wrong...

"This must be where the medi-vac chopper went down," Gibbs said as he recalled Abby's ramblings from earlier. "Is this her street?" he glanced at him as they came to a stop in the traffic. "Looks like this is as far as we're getting." McGee's face was a shade of pale Gibbs had never seen on him before. "McGee?"

"That...that's her house..." he shakily reached for the door handle to let himself out. Gibbs turned off the ignition and followed after him. They fought their way through the crowd, Gibbs flashing his badge to police officers so that they could pass.

His cell rang and he pulled it out to answer as they continued to walk, "Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Boss...bad news," _Tony's voice came across the other line.

"Worse than what I'm seein' right now?"

_"You shouldn't let him up there."_

"What're they sayin'?" he asked as he weaved through people to keep up with McGee.

_"They haven't found the bodies, yet. But she was home, Boss."_

Gibbs reached the clearing, revealing the wreckage surrounded by rescue workers. "I'm gonna have to call you back, DiNozzo," he ended the call and caught sight of McGee who was still heading toward the house.

Firemen stopped him, telling him it was too dangerous to enter the house, but he held up his badge, insisting he be allowed to assist. "Please! My girlfriend is in there. You have to let me help..."

"Sir, there's no one in the house," one of them said.

"I know for a fact that she was home," he told them. "Her and another girl named Andrea. They were both here!"

"If that's true, Sir, then we'll find them."

"McGee," Gibbs hand set firmly on his shoulder.

"Boss, they won't let me inside!" he turned to him.

"We've been searching both houses for nearly two hours, Sir," the fireman told him.

Suddenly, there was commotion coming from behind them and they turned to see. "We've got two!" they heard them shout. "One critical. The other didn't make it."

The fireman they'd been speaking to turned back to face the agents. "Can you identify?" he asked. McGee nodded and started to walk forward, but Gibbs held his shoulder.

"You want me to do this?" he asked. McGee's eyes searched his for a moment, then he shook his head. Gibbs let him go, but followed close behind. They followed the fireman to the ambulance where the rescue workers were taking the critical patient.

Time seemed to slow for McGee as they made their way toward the gurney. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until it literally hurt. When they reached through the medics, he realized the woman being cared for had blond hair... his heart sank and he felt his knees begin to shake.

Gibbs took hold of McGee's arm when he saw the agent begin to waver. "Tim..."

"That's Andrea," he said in a quiet voice. "That means...Kendra..." his eyes brimmed with tears as he looked back toward what used to be a house. He looked at Gibbs, then decidedly shook his head in denial, "No...it can't be. Maybe she wasn't there. Maybe there was someone else here," he wrung out of his boss's grasp and started back toward the rescuers who were rolling out a body bag.

Gibbs quickly went after him, "McGee!" he called, but Tim disregarded him as he approached the body that lay on the ground. He wasn't six feet away when he recognized her, though badly charred by the fire. Something shattered inside of him in that moment and he felt himself drop to his knees. All sound ceased except for the pounding of his heart in his ears.

He was only partially aware of the tears streaming his cheeks; the image of Kendra blurring around the edges. Tim closed his eyes, willing this to all be just a horrible nightmare. Hoping he would open them and everything would be back to normal...Kendra would be okay...

Gibbs knelt down beside his agent, facing him as he realized his eyes were closed tightly. He reached his hand out to Tim's back and watched as his eyes opened. In that moment, McGee dropped his head into his hands; shoulders shaking with silent sobs...

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**tbc...**

**A/N: First off, thanks for reviewing! **

**Secondly, this chapter is a little shorter for obvious reasons. Too tired to proof-read. I apologize for any grave errors. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Miss Belle!" a struggled scream came from somewhere behind him, pulling Tim from his own thoughts. "Miss Belle!" He turned, hearing the screaming coming from the ambulance. McGee pushed himself to his feet, realizing only then that Gibbs had been holding onto him, and raced toward Andrea's screams. "Miss Belle!" the last scream was broken, sobbing, that turned into coughing.

"Andy?" McGee pushed his way to the side of her gurney.

She blinked up at him; tears making tracks through the blackened ash on her cheeks. "Tim?" He reached out and took her hand, realizing it was wet and as ashen as the rest of her. Her tears renewed. "They told me Miss Belle is dead... Is it true?" Tim took a shaky breath as new tears brimmed his eyes, and he nodded. Andy's face crunched painfully at the confirmation, "It's my fault... It's all my fault," her head fell back against the gurney as she cried.

McGee shook his head, "No, it's not, Andy. There was a crash..." He was cut off when her eyes suddenly rolled back in her head; monitors sounding in the ambulance.

"She's going into V fib!" one of them called. "Sir, we need to get her to the hospital."

"Can I go with her?"

"You'll have to follow us, Sir," he told him as they loaded her on and began working to help her before shutting the doors.

McGee panicked, looking all around him and finding Gibbs not a few feet behind where he'd been standing. "Boss..."

"I'll get you there, Tim."

*~.~*

Gibbs pulled up to the front of the hospital, "Go on in. I'll park and be in in a minute," he told Tim.

"You don't have to stay, Boss."

"How ya gonna get home?" he narrowed his eyes at him.

McGee shook his head, "I'm not. Not going home," he told him. "I'm staying here with Andy. Kendra was taking care of her; she would've wanted me to do this," his voice cracked and he looked away out the window.

Gibbs felt the man's heartbreak in his own chest; an all-to-familiar feeling he wouldn't wish on anyone. He found himself reaching a hand to the back of Tim's head, cupping it comfortingly, "I really am sorry about Kendra, McGee."

_Kendra McGee_, he thought... God...that would've been her name... Tim dug the heels of his hands against his eyes. Gibbs watched the agent's chin quiver as his face momentarily showed the despair he was feeling. And just as quickly, it was gone. Tim pulled his hands away and composed himself with a sniffle. "My overnight bag..."

"In my trunk," Gibbs replied. "Grabbed it from your car before they towed it. Go on in. I'll bring it in for you." McGee nodded and made his way out of the car. Gibbs pulled out his cell as he slowly drove toward the parking garage. Before he could even dial, it began to ring. Glancing at the caller ID, he answered, "Yeah..."

_"Boss, where are you?" _Tony sounded on the other line. Gibbs could hear the noise in the background; familiar enough to tell him exactly where Tony had gone.

"George Washington," he replied. "McGee's stayin' here with this Andy girl."

_"Andy's alive? ...Kendra?" _his voice sounded hopeful.

"Didn't make it," he told him.

_"Damn...damn..." _Tony's voice conveyed the sympathy he had for his partner. _"How's McGee?"_

"How do ya think, DiNozzo?" if he hadn't felt the pain deep in his chest, it might have come out more sarcastic as he'd meant it to be.

_"I'm heading there, Boss."_ The call ended before Gibbs could respond.

**11 111 11 111 11**

Gibbs had brought McGee his bag where he was sitting in the E.R waiting room. Tim had thanked him, almost emotionless in his movements as he shuffled off to the restroom. Truth be told, it was a bit unnerving.

McGee stood in the restroom, slowly and methodically removing his suit coat and button-down shirt; laying them on the counter before grabbing a clean shirt from his bag. He felt detached from reality, as if none of this was real. He was numb.

He hadn't even realized he'd changed into his MIT shirt until he glanced haphazardly into the mirror, bringing himself back to reality enough to pick up his shirt and suit coat and roll them up. Tim began to shove them into his bag when something fell from the pocket of his coat to the floor. He crouched down to pick it up, then realized what it was and froze...

**11 111 11 111 11**

Tony hurriedly entered the hospital, heading through the E.R entrance until he caught sight of Gibbs sitting in the waiting area. But Gibbs seemed to be lost in his own thoughts; staring ahead at the blank wall in front of him. Tim was no where in sight. Tony quietly sat down beside his boss, waiting for him to realize that he was there. But it seemed he wasn't going to.

"Boss?" he said quietly. "You okay?" Gibbs turned his head to look at his agent and nodded after a moment. "McGee in with Andy?"

He shook his head, "No word on her condition yet. He went into the restroom to change, I think."

"How long ago was that?"

Gibbs shrugged and looked down at his watch, "Not sure. Maybe ten minutes."

Tony furrowed his brow, "You sure you're okay?"

Gibbs looked at him again, narrowing his eyes in question of why he'd be asking. "I'm fine. Just tired is all."

Tony nodded in acknowledgment, then stood. "I'm gonna check on him. When I get back, I'll grab you a coffee if you want."

Gibbs pushed out of his chair to stand, "If you're stayin' here with him, I'm gonna head home."

"I'll stay," he said.

"You keep me posted...on McGee. He wants to stay here with her, but he needs to sleep. Needs to eat somethin', too. He's not gonna wanna do any of those things, but don't push him. Just keep an eye on him."

"I got it, Boss," he told him, looking him over again and realizing that he was anything but fine.

"He needs anything, you call me," he said; eyes expressing his concern.

"Go home, Gibbs. I'll take care of him," he half-expected a glare. But instead, Gibbs nodded and turned to leave. Tony continued to the restroom in search of Tim. As he pushed open the door, he saw his partner standing, facing the sink, looking down at something. He realized it was the ring box, once he saw it in the reflection in the mirror. Tony walked quietly to his side. "Hey."

McGee looked up at Tony's reflection and it took everything in Tony not to flinch at the void he could see in his friend's eyes. "Hey, Tony," he said in barely a whisper before tucking the box into his overnight bag and zipping it closed. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard about the accident on the news," he told him, keeping just as quiet, but not sure why. "I'm sorry about Kendra, Tim."

"Just...don't," he shook his head. "Don't say her name right now...please," his voice cracked.

"Okay," he nodded, unsure of what to say or do. For a long few moments, they were both silent; McGee's eyes shifting aimlessly around the counter surrounding his bag. "We should get back out there," Tony spoke up. "Ya know...in case there's news about Andy."

McGee looked at him, blinking as if suddenly realizing where he was again. He nodded and turned to pick up his bag and headed out the restroom door, Tony following behind him. Once they reached the waiting area, Tim calmly took a seat and Tony sat down beside him. "Why are you here, Tony?" Tim asked as he looked down at his feet; his elbows on the armrests and hands crossed limply in his lap.

"What do you mean?" Tony furrowed his brow.

"You don't know Andy."

"I'm not here for her," he told him.

McGee turned his head to look at him, "I'm fine."

Tony took a breath through his nose, "Well you're doin' a damn fine job of holdin' it together, McGee, but you're not fine."

Tim ran a hand down his face, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm here to make sure Andy's gonna be okay," he explained. "That's what matters right now. It's what...Kendra would want me to focus on right now," he swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat.

After several minutes of silence in, Tony turned to McGee. "Look, I'm gonna stay here as long as you're here, okay? So if you need anything, just let me know."

"You don't have to stay here."

"Yeah, I kinda do. I promised Gibbs. Plus...I wanna be here."

Tim furrowed his brow as he looked at him, "Why?"

"Because you're my friend," he said, slightly unnerved that he had to explain that. "Something horrible just happened to you and you shouldn't be alone." Tim looked at him for a long moment before having to look away. "I'm really glad you let us meet her..." he said, almost regrettably once it left his mouth.

McGee pushed out of the chair and walked a few feet away, "Stop it...please..." he began to pace back and forth, eventually digging his hands into the hair at the back of his head. "I can't do this right now," his voice cracked. Tony stood and walked into his path, effectively bringing him to a halt. Tim's eyes were unfocused and brimmed with tears he was trying desperately to hold at bay. "It's like...none of this is real," his fingertips moved to cradle the sides of his head. "It's all a nightmare...I'll wake up soon...in Baltimore with a concussion..." he made a sound like a choking sob, covering his face with his fists. It broke Tony's heart. "Kendra's making me dinner...I'll be late but...she'll be there waiting for me..."

"Tim," Tony grabbed hold of the agent's arms. "I wish I could tell you this was all a bad dream, but it's not..." he pulled McGee into a hug. "I'm really...really sorry, McGee," he said in barely a whisper, as tears brimmed his own eyes. For a few moments, Tim let him. But then he pulled away; setting his face back into the emotionless form he'd started out with. He walked back to the chair and sat down, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. Tony watched him from where he stood, concerned but helpless as to what to do...

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

Gibbs sank down on his couch with a glass of bourbon in hand. He pinched his forehead, rubbing against the ache that had settled there hours ago. What happened to McGee today had struck something personal in Gibbs' mind; something he knew all too well, himself. The shock...the unexpectedness...the complete devastation of loss.

When Tim had taken them to meet Kendra, Gibbs was well aware of his agent's feelings for the girl. The way he acted with her, around her...the way she made him smile when she came back from a trip to the restroom... the simple things made him know. The short conversations between Tim and himself; the reaction when Kendra was brought up, reminded him of his own relationship with Shannon. Tim and Kendra...they were going to be the real deal. The fact that McGee had that torn away from him before it barely had the chance to begin, broke his own heart.

This familiar ache caused him to remember the many long days following the news of his wife and daughter's deaths. It had hurt...beyond words; beyond explanation. It _still_ hurt. Timothy McGee didn't deserve to live the rest of his life with that pain... Gibbs downed his drink and stood, hurling the empty glass into the fireplace, angrily, as he cursed...

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**tbc...**


	8. Chapter 8

(d6) **A/N: proof-reading=not happening tonight. Too tired! Enjoy...**

**11 111 11 111 11**

**0500...**

Tony inconspicuously peeked into Andrea's room in ICU, relieved to find McGee asleep on the large chair beside her bed. Sinking back down into the chair outside of the door, he sighed. Exhaustion was taking him over at that point, himself.

Ziva had texted him earlier to see what had happened. He knew he'd replied, but couldn't even recall what he'd said. Suddenly, she was at his side, "Good morning, Tony."

His head turned to her as she sat beside him. "Didn't know you'd be coming by," he said, a bit surprised.

"I brought you both some breakfast," she handed him a brown paper bag.

"Thanks...but honestly, I'm so tired I can't even think about eating. And I doubt McGee will eat right now, either."

"You should go home and get some rest," she said. "I will stay here for a while."

He thought a moment about the request. "Did you talk to Gibbs yet this morning?" She shook her head. "Okay...well, thanks, Zi. I appreciate this. But call me when he gets up." He moved to stand, and Ziva placed a hand on his arm.

"How is he?" she asked.

Tony sighed, peeking into the room once more, "I don't think he's completely accepted what happened, yet. Being here with Andy is important to him," he handed the bag back to her. "I think it's the only reason he hasn't snapped at this point," he narrowed his eyes at his own statement. "Let him sleep; he really needs it."

"As do you," she reminded him. "So go home," she gave him a small smirk. He nodded in appreciation and began his journey out of the hospital.

He pulled out his cell, knowing Gibbs would be up by now, and dialed his boss's number. After two rings, he picked up. _"Yeah. Gibbs."_

"Hey, Boss."

_"Everything okay?"_

"Considering... McGee just fell asleep maybe half an hour ago. Ziva stopped by; she's gonna stay here a while with him, if that's okay with you. I really need to crash for a while."

_"You good to drive?" _Gibbs asked, concerned by the obvious exhaustion in his agent's voice.

"Hope so... if not, I'll pull over and sleep on the side of the road for all I care."

_"Just come to my house. It's closer."_

**11 111 11 111 11**

Tony shuffled up to Gibbs' front door, letting himself in as Gibbs had instructed. Quickly hanging his coat, he headed for the couch right as Gibbs walked into the living room with a mug of coffee. "You stay up all night?"

"Probie was up all night," Tony said as he plopped down, laying on the couch. "Didn't really wanna be asleep if he ended up...ya know...wanting to talk or something."

"He talk at all to you?" he asked as he leaned in the doorway.

"What little he said, makes me think he hasn't really let it sink in just yet. I know part of him knows it, but he's fighting it; doesn't wanna believe it. Can't say I blame him..."

"Yeah," Gibbs sighed before taking a long drink from his mug. "Any word on Andy's condition?"

"I didn't hear much about it, but I know she's been unconscious since they brought her in," he told him. "Kendra thought of Andy like a daughter," he explained. "I'm pretty sure McGee's gonna wanna take over where she left off; for Kendra's sake if nothing else." Tony stuffed a throw pillow under his neck and leaned his head against the armrest. "Boss...ya think he's gonna be okay?"

Gibbs looked at him for a long moment as he considered the question. "I hope so," he said as he pushed off of the wall to set his cup in the sink. By the time he returned to the living room, Tony was fast asleep. Quietly, Gibbs made his way out the door after grabbing his keys. He'd get into work early, finish up the report and request time off for McGee, and the rest of the day for the rest of his team...

**11 111 11 111 11 111 11**

Tony slipped back into consciousness along with a stretch that seemed to take over his entire body. As his eyes cracked open, he peeked down at his watch and immediately shot up from the couch, "Shit!"

"Hey," Gibbs said as he came down the stairs.

"Sorry, Boss! I slept in...didn't mean to- wait...why are you still here? It's 1400 hours."

"Calm down, DiNozzo," he said as he entered the living room. "I went in. Vance gave us the rest of the day off."

"Oh," he narrowed his eyes before rubbing the sleep from them. "Geez...Ziva must still be at the hospital," he reached for his cell.

"Duck is there, now," Gibbs informed him. "Sent her home."

"Oh...well, I guess I'll...just get going, then."

"You don't have to go," Gibbs told him as he went to the kitchen. "I ordered a pizza. Thought ya might be hungry."

"Yeah?" Tony was a bit surprised. "Thanks, Boss," he moved around the coffee table, stopping when he felt something crack under his shoe. He picked up his foot and realized he'd stepped on a broken piece of glass. Bending down to pick it up, he glanced toward the fireplace and saw the shattered remains of what used to be a bourbon glass. "Have a disagreement with the fireplace?" he asked as Gibbs returned with two bottles of beer and a glare telling Tony to drop the question. Tony took the hint and stood as Gibbs handed him one of the bottles.

Tony appraised Gibbs' stature as he took the bottle offered. His eyes had focused somewhere near the fireplace and seemed lost in thought. "Somethin's buggin' you," he said, finally.

Gibbs met his eyes for a moment, then took a swig of his beer. "Same thing that's buggin' you, DiNozzo," he said passively and turned to go into the kitchen.

Tony followed him, then realizing what must have been going through his boss's mind the night before. "I think maybe it's a little more than what's buggin' _me_." Gibbs turned to face him again, a glare setting on his agent until he realized the concern he saw there.

His features softened and his eyes darted around for a moment before settling on Tony's once more. "He doesn't deserve to carry that kinda pain the rest of his life," he told him.

"No one does, Boss," he replied, holding Gibbs' gaze. He was sure he saw the man's eyes begin to redden right before there was a knock at the door and he set his beer down to answer it...

**11 111 11 111 11**

McGee opened his eyes after trying to move and having a stiff pain run through him. It took a few moments to realize where he was; but he was soon well aware. Glancing at the darkness coming from the window, he assumed he'd only slept a short while.

"Ah, you're awake," his head turned toward the sound of Dr. Mallard's voice.

"Ducky? What are you doing here?" he asked, a bit confused.

"Just visiting to see how you're doing, Timothy," he replied. "You had a good, long rest. You must be hungry?"

"I couldn't have been asleep that long. It was dark when I fell asleep."

"Yes; just before sunrise, I'd imagine. And you managed to stay asleep till sundown. It's nearly eight-thirty."

Tim seemed surprised by this, "I slept the whole day? No wonder I feel like I fell down a flight of stairs," he stretched.

Ducky let out a small laugh, "More likely that you slept the day in that uncomfortable chair."

McGee looked over at Andy and stood to go to her bedside. "Has she woken up at all?"

"Not that I'm aware," Ducky said as he stood and joined his side. "Her doctors say she's been through a lot, but they believe she'll pull through," he placed a hand on the agent's shoulder. "I am so sorry about what happened, Tim. And I'm sorry I never had the pleasure of making her acquaintance."

Tim closed his eyes, "I'm sorry, Ducky... I...thought I had more time for..."

"Don't apologize," he squeezed his shoulder. "I understand."

McGee opened his eyes and looked down at Andy, taking her hand in his. "I'm gonna take care of her, now," he told him. "Kendra would've wanted that. I'm not gonna let her slip back through the cracks..."

"That's very admirable," Ducky told him as he gently pulled his hand from his shoulder. "But I think she would also want you to take care of yourself. You haven't eaten in over a day. Perhaps we can slip out for a bit and grab something?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Just as well, I'll go fetch us both a little something. Perhaps you'll change your mind when I return. You'll be alright for a bit?"

"I'm fine, Ducky," he said with a furrowed brow. "Really, I don't understand why I need a sitter."

"Not a sitter, Timothy. A friend."

*~.~*

"Hey, Duck," Gibbs said as he answered his cell. "How's McGee holdin' up?"

_"He slept nearly the whole day, Jethro," _Ducky explained. _"But it seems it might be a bit of a challenge to convince him to eat."_

"Maybe I should come by; see if I can't convince him to come out to eat with me."

_"He won't leave that girl's side. I tried to convince him to come out with me for a bit, but he refused."_

Gibbs sighed, "Any change in her condition?"

_"I'm afraid not."_

"I'll come by; you should get home anyway."

**11 111 11 111 11**

Gibbs had been sitting in the chair next to McGee for a good five minutes. He was sure the agent didn't even realize he was there; his gaze distant and nearly expressionless. It was honestly frightening. "McGee," he said softly, and Tim looked over at him, almost as if in a dream instead of completely awake. "You wanna take care of Andy, you gotta be strong," he told him. "Ya gotta eat; as much as you don't want to, right now." He reached out, taking Tim's hand and put a small paper bag in it.

McGee blinked and looked down, furrowing his brow before meeting Gibbs' eyes again. "Boss?"

"It's a sandwich, McGee. I got it especially for you and I'd be personally offended if you didn't at least try and eat it," he narrowed his eyes at him. For a moment, Tim seemed to snap out of his dazed state of mind as he looked down at the bag and unwrapped it.

He examined it in his hands for a moment. "Thank you," he said quietly before taking a bite. Gibbs grinned a bit as he watched the agent eat, even if it was only because it was _him_ making him do it. After a few bites, Tim seemed uncomfortable. "This is really good, Boss. But I can't...eat anymore," he wrapped it back into the bag.

Gibbs took the bag, "It's okay. Some is better than none." McGee had fixed his gaze back on the patient lying in the bed before them. "Doesn't she have any family to come sit with her a while?" he asked.

"Andy doesn't have anyone," Tim replied, his eyes focusing slightly lower.

"What about friends? She's a dancer, right?"

McGee furrowed his brow, "Yeah..." he shook his head as if he'd come to some realization. "God...I- I should've called them." He stood abruptly.

"Why don't you come to my place and get a shower," Gibbs suggested as he stood. "Then you can make a few calls."

"I've...gotta get the numbers," he told him.

"I'll have Tony do that. You've gotta give yourself a break, Tim. Let us help you." Tim looked at Gibbs for a moment, then back to Andy. "She'll be fine. She's in good hands here."

**11 111 11 111 11**

"Hey, Boss," Tony said when Gibbs opened his front door to him. "I called everyone on her class list. One of them is on their way over to sit with her right now," he told him as he followed him into the living room carrying a bag of Tim's clothes he'd had in his desk. "McGee in the shower?"

"Yeah. Just put his bag up on the guest bed," he said as he sank down in the arm chair. Tony headed up the stairs, glancing at Gibbs along the way. The shower was still running when he placed the bag on the bed. Though he wanted to ask McGee how he was doing, Tony would have to settle for asking Gibbs to fill him in.

Tony made his way back downstairs, expecting to see Gibbs where he'd left him; in the chair. But he wasn't there any longer. He heard a rustling in the basement, indicating where the man had fled to. So he made his way down the basement steps as Gibbs was pouring himself a glass of bourbon. "Not gonna throw this one, are ya, Boss?" he haphazardly smirked.

Gibbs ignored the comment, "You stickin' around for a while?"

"I can," he replied.

"Good. If he wants to go back to the hospital, you'll probably need to drive him," he said before taking a long drink from his glass.

Tony narrowed his eyes, "You get him to talk to you at all?"

"Not tryin' to get him to talk, Tony. When he's ready, we'll be there to listen."

"I dunno, Boss...I've kinda got a bad feeling about it. He doesn't seem to be himself, which I know is understandable, given the circumstances. But it's like he's still in denial or something. That can't be healthy...right?"

Gibbs turned to face the work bench, stretching his neck to one side. "Just give him some time," he said quietly. Tony ducked his head a bit. In his heart, he knew Gibbs was speaking from experience. But his gut screamed that things weren't going to be that simple...

**11 111 11 111 11**

**tbc...**


	9. Chapter 9

Tony climbed the stairs toward the guest room once more. Tim was stuffing some clothes into his overnight bag as he approached the door. He politely knocked on the open door and McGee looked over at him. "Hey, Tony," he said as he zipped his bag up. "Thanks for picking this stuff up for me."

"No problem," Tony said as he entered the room. "I called Andy's friends. One of them is there with her right now. She's gonna stay for a while."

Tim looked back at him, "You called them?"

"Yeah, I figured...maybe it'd be a little easier."

"Thanks..." he slipped back into an emotionless state. "Hey, ya think Gibbs minds if I stay here for a while?"

"Don't think he'll mind at all," Tony replied. "You hungry? Or...want a drink or somethin'? I could bring you a beer..."

"Uh," he glanced over at him for a moment. "Sure, I guess...I'll have a beer."

Tony grinned, satisfied that he'd weaseled his way into possibly getting the probie to talk to him, "Be right back." He turned out of the room and hurried down the stairs to grab a couple bottles of beer from the fridge.

"Private party?" Gibbs asked as he entered the kitchen behind him, slightly startling the agent.

"McGee said he'd have a beer," he explained. "Figured he might wanna talk...maybe."

Gibbs cocked his head, "He doesn't wanna go back to the hospital, I take it."

"He said he was gonna stay here for a while if it was okay with you," he told him.

"I'd rather him stay here right now, actually," Gibbs told him.

Tony nodded in agreement, then walked past him and to the stairs. Once he reached the guest room, however, McGee had curled up on the bed and was already fast asleep. Tony sighed; setting down the beers on the side table, he grabbed a blanket from the chair beside the bed and covered the agent up to his shoulders. "G'night, McGee," he whispered, softly patting his friend's shoulder before turning out the light and leaving the room...

**11 00 11 00 11**

**Next day; 1500 hours...**

"Hey, Duck," Gibbs said into his phone as he poured himself some more coffee in the kitchen.

_"Ah, Jethro...I was wondering why I hadn't seen you in the office today. Anthony tells me you're keeping young Timothy company."_

"Actually, that's what I'm callin' about. He's still sleepin'. Hasn't gotten up since he crashed last night."

_"Well, it's perfectly normal for someone who's gone through this kind of loss. I imagine he's in a state of depression."_

"Yeah, I expected as much," Gibbs said. "But my main concern is his health. He still hasn't eaten anything, other than a few bites of a sandwich I brought him to the hospital."

_ "He needs to eat _something_, Jethro. Perhaps you can convince him to have at least some soup or something. He'll end up in the hospital, himself, if he continues down this road. I've not got anything lined up this afternoon; maybe I can leave here and come by to check up on him now."_

"Sounds good, Ducky. Thanks. I'll try and get him to wake up," he ended the call and headed up the stairs toward the guest room. As he'd seen him before, McGee was still balled up on his side and tangled in the blanket thrown over him. Gibbs made his way around the bed, sitting on the edge of it before putting a hand on the agent's shoulder. "McGee," he gently shook him. Tim groaned. "C'mon; time to get up."

Tim's eyes cracked open and focused on his boss, "What time is it?" he asked, groggily.

"Little after three," he replied.

McGee pushed himself up, abruptly, "I...gotta get back to Andy."

"Andy's got someone with her," Gibbs assured him. "And they know to call if anything changes."

"Still, I should be there," he insisted.

"Not till ya eat something and let Ducky take a look at you."

"Why does Ducky need to look at me? I'm fine," he argued.

"You're not eating. We're worried about you," Gibbs narrowed his eyes at him.

Tim rubbed his palms against his eyes, "I'm not hungry."

"Are ya sick?" Gibbs squinted.

"No," he dropped his hands. "I just don't feel...hungry. Just tired all the time."

"'Cause ya need to eat, Tim. Gotta at least try."

*~.~*

Gibbs managed to convince McGee to come down and eat; even if it was only for the simple fact that he'd bribed him with taking him back to the hospital if he would. Tim ate the entire bowl of soup, and Ducky soon came through the front door.

"I see you've managed to finally eat something," the doctor said as he entered the kitchen. "How are you feeling, Timothy?"

"I'm okay, Ducky," he replied, flatly.

"I hear you had a good amount of sleep. Mind if I have a look at you?"

"Honestly, Ducky, I'm not sure what you're checking me for. I haven't been hurt," he told him, slightly aggravated.

"I'm not so sure that's entirely true," he said in a sullen voice. McGee just looked at him, a bit confused. "Have you been having any headaches or nausea?"

"I've had a headache," he told him with resignation. "One long headache that hasn't gone away."

"Now that you've eaten, that might ease up a bit," Ducky told him.

Tim looked up at Gibbs who was leaning back against the counter, "Can you take me to Andy now, please?"

Gibbs glanced at Ducky for a moment, then back to Tim before he nodded. "As long as you call one of us when you're ready to take a break," he told him. "You can't just sit around a hospital all day and night."

"Yes, dear boy. You must get up and walk around a bit; make sure you eat what your body needs," Ducky added.

"Look, if you're done lecturing me, I'd really just like to go," he said with slight frustration showing in his voice. "I can take care of myself; I don't need to be told how to live."

"Apparently ya need to be told when to eat, though," Gibbs narrowed his eyes at him.

Tim brought his fist down on the table-top with a bang, "Damnit, Gibbs! I ate the damn soup! What do you want from me?" The two older men remained silent, a bit shocked in the behavior. But Gibbs was moderately relieved to see some kind of emotion from his agent. Then Tim's features softened and he looked down at the table, "I'm...I'm sorry, Boss..."

"It's okay," he said.

"What?" he looked up at him with a furrowed brow. "No 'don't apologize' speech?"

"That really what you need to hear right now?" Gibbs asked, raising his brows.

"Maybe," he replied. "I'd like to stop being treated like I'm gonna break! Nothing you all say is gonna break me anymore than..." his voice tapered off after in cracked. He looked back down at the table before pushing himself away from it and standing. "Can we please go?" he asked in barely a whisper.

**11 00 11 00 11**

"I went by his apartment last night to see if he was okay," Abby told Tony in the bullpen; worry spread across her face. "But he wasn't there."

"He stayed at Gibbs' house," Tony told her.

"Is that why they're both not here?" she asked with raised brows. "Gibbs is watching over him?"

"Was," Gibbs explained as he walked into the bullpen. "He's back at the hospital with Andrea, now."

"He doin' any better, Boss?" Tony asked.

Gibbs cocked his head as he sat at his desk, "He ate a bit."

"That's good," Tony replied. "Don't ya think someone should be over there with him?"

"Yeah," he narrowed his eyes at the agent. "Yeah, I do, DiNozzo. But I also think he wants some space."

"But Gibbs!" Abby stalked to his desk. "Tim needs his friends around him..."

"He's got us around him, Abs," he replied. "But he needs some space. Trust me; I think I know a little about this," his eyes darted back and forth between hers. Slowly, her features softened. With a small nod, she turned and headed for the back elevator. Gibbs looked down at his desk for a moment, but feeling Tony's eyes on him, he looked up and met them. The agent swallowed. "When we're done here, you go sit with him a while," he said, quietly. "In the meantime, let's get this report finished."

**11 00 11 00 11**

**1830 hours...**

Ziva watched Tony from her desk as he ran his hands down his face and scratched at his neck. "Tired, Tony?" she asked.

He looked over at her, "Not really. Just a little anxious." Before she could respond, Tony's cell rang and he fetched it from his pocket. "Tony DiNozzo," he answered. There was a pause as he listened. "Yeah, he's my partner. Who is this?" Another long pause. "What?" he stood abruptly, and Ziva looked at him curiously. "When?... Okay. Alright, I'm on my way," he ended the call and headed quickly toward the elevator.

"Tony," Ziva stood and turned toward him. "What has happened?"

"I've gotta go get McGee," he replied vaguely as the elevator doors opened and he ducked in, nearly knocking into Gibbs.

"Where you goin', DiNozzo?" he asked.

"Hospital," he replied, hitting the button when Gibbs decidedly stayed with the seemingly panicked agent. "Andy's dead," he explained. Gibbs' gut twisted at the words. "Died over half an hour ago, but McGee won't leave the room. He's just sitting there staring into space; not responding to anyone who comes in."

"Damnit," Gibbs cursed under his breath. "Shoulda let you go sit with him..."

"You couldn't have known, Boss. This isn't your fault."

Gibbs took a breath through his nose, "Bring him to my house; stay with him there. I'll try and wrap things up here." Tony nodded as the doors opened and he hurried out...

**11 00 11 00 11**

Tim was only partially aware of the voices around him. His heart had sunk so deeply in his chest, he found it hard to feel anything else. More than anything, he wanted to run as far as he could from that room. But he couldn't seem to make his body do what his brain was ordering. A small part of him wished he hadn't told his friends to leave him alone. At least they could take him from this place...

*~.~*

"We thought maybe he was in shock," the nurse explained as she walked with Tony toward the room. "But he won't let anyone near him. The doctor was thinking about having him moved and admitted, but since he's an agent, we thought it best to see if one of you could get through to him, first."

"Thanks," Tony said as they approached the door. As he entered, he flinched slightly at he unreadable look on Tim's face where he sat. Moving closer, he crouched down in front of him, placing a hand on McGee's, which rested on one of his knees. "Tim?" he said quietly, and was surprised when he immediately focused his eyes at him. Something seemed to break in the younger agent, then. Tears immediately formed in his eyes; breathing came in shorter bursts as his face twisted with pain.

A choking sob escaped McGee as he slid from the chair down to the floor on his knees. Tony pulled him into a tight embrace, feeling Tim's hands grip fistfuls of the back of his shirt as he sobbed. "It's gonna be okay," Tony told him; his own eyes brimming with tears for his friend. "Everything's gonna be okay..."

**11 00 11 00 11**

**tbc...**


	10. Chapter 10

McGee barely made it, led by Tony to the bathroom off the guestroom, before retching into the toilet. Sinking to his knees as they gave out, he clutched the open lid with one hand and the edge of the bowl with the other as he continued to heave. Eventually, nothing else was coming up; he was simply dry-heaving. But he couldn't stop it...the twisting and churning in his gut that forced so much more than tears.

Then he felt a soothing hand on his back running back and forth between his shoulder blades. "Ya gotta calm yourself down, McGee," Tony's voice rang through, bringing him back to some sense of peace he couldn't quite identify. "Just take some deep breaths, okay?"

Soon, Tim began to respond and his breathing started to return to somewhat normal. Tony handed him a damp washcloth and he wiped his mouth. "I was supposed to take care of her," he said through a raspy voice. "I was supposed to make sure she was gonna be okay..."

"McGee-"

"What am I supposed to do now?" he turned to look at him as he sank back to sit against the side of the tub. "Kendra...she's gone... Kendra's gone, Tony," tears flowed more freely now as he stared straight ahead. "I miss her...so much..."

"I know ya do," Tony replied in barely a whisper.

Tim turned to look at him, "She would've wanted me to take care of Andy. I couldn't even do that..."

"It wasn't in your power to save her, McGee," Tony told him with a furrowed brow. "It was her time; she's with Kendra now. They're together."

Tim's eyes focused somewhere on his partner's chest as he considered the words. "You think so?"

Tony nodded, "Yeah, I do, Tim."

McGee ducked his head, nodding in response, though the tears remained steady. He sniffled and swiped at his eyes. "But...what about me?" his voice was so quiet, Tony almost didn't hear the statement. Tony sank to sit beside him and put his arm around Tim's shoulders, pulling the man into a gentle hug. And he let him cry until he couldn't anymore...

**11 00 11 00 11**

**2247 hours...**

Gibbs heard the guest room door close and came into the living room to see Tony come trudging down the stairs, looking defeated. The senior agent met his boss's eyes as he entered the room, "I know I just did this, Boss, but can I crash on your couch again?"

Gibbs nodded and handed him a beer, "How's he doin'?"

Tony plopped down on the couch, "He's asleep, now. But he's pretty torn up. Kinda glad it's the weekend; means someone can keep an eye on him. If it's okay with you, I wouldn't mind stickin' around... just to make sure he's gonna be okay."

"You wanna spend your weekend _here_?" Gibbs raised a brow as he sank down on the chair across from the couch.

"Absolutely," he replied without doubt. "McGee's my friend, Boss. I wanna be here for him."

Gibbs nodded in acknowledgment and gave him a small smile. "Just got a call from Ziva," he told him. "She's going to Tel Aviv for the weekend; friend of hers is sick."

"Not dying, I hope," he narrowed his eyes.

Gibbs shrugged, "Didn't say that."

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "Ziva never really says much of anything when it comes to personal things..."

"Either do we," Gibbs pointed out.

"Touche," Tony smirked. He took a long swig from his beer and leaned back on the couch. "Guess I'll make a trip to my place in the morning; bring McGee's clothes with me and throw them in the wash.."

"You volunteering to do laundry, now?" Gibbs smirked.

"I know, it's a bit of a shocker," Tony returned the smirk. "But I've gotta do some of my own, so it's no problem." As he continued to nurse the beer, his eyes focused somewhere on the coffee table, lost in thought. But Gibbs kept a steady eye on on his agent, noting the exhaustion in his features. He was aware that it wasn't just a physical exhaustion, but worry for his fellow teammate.

"If you get hungry, there's food in the fridge," he told him as he stood from the chair. "Went to pick some things up on the way home. I'm gonna head down to the basement; get some stuff cleaned up."

"Need any help, Boss?" Tony asked.

Gibbs shook his head with a smirk, taking in the tired eyes of his agent, "You're tired. Get some sleep, DiNozzo."

"Don't stay up too late," he suggested as he laid himself out on the couch. Gibbs smirked out of sight of Tony as he slipped into the basement doorway.

**11 00 11 00 11**

**0830...**

"Hey, Probie," Tony said quietly as he shook the agent's arm to wake him.

"Go 'way," he groaned before pulling the blanket up over his head.

"C'mon, McGee," he insisted. "Brought you some toast and juice. And if you're hungry after that, the good stuff is downstairs."

"Jus' wanna sleep," he protested

"Yeah, I know. But humor me; eat the toast and juice an' you can go back to sleep."

With a sigh, Tim pulled the covers from his face and pushed himself up to sit back against the headboard. "Suppose you'll keep fighting me if I keep telling you I'm not hungry," he surmised.

"Fighting is such a strong word," Tony smirked. "More like...insisting." He held the plate out to him, and McGee reluctantly took it and place it in his lap.

"Well, thanks," he said, nearly sarcastically. "But like I told Gibbs already, I don't need everyone babysitting me; telling me when to eat..."

"We just wanna make sure you're okay," Tony said with a furrowed brow. "I'm sorry if that pisses you off."

Tim briefly closed his eyes with a resigning sigh, "Look...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I'm mad at you all," he met his eyes again.

"I understand, McGee...really. Just wanted you to know we don't think ya can't do this yourself. But we don't want you to do it alone." He watched the younger agent as he seemed to process that information. Then Tim began to eat a piece of the toast. Not wanting to give off the impression that he was monitoring him, Tony made small talk. "So...Ziva went to Tel Aviv for the weekend," he told him. "Friend of hers there is sick."

Tim swallowed, "Is it serious?"

"Not sure," he replied as Tim took another bite of the toast. "I think it's more along the lines of needing someone to be there."

McGee knew Tony hadn't intentionally brought up the thoughts that began flashing in his mind now, but it was happening anyway. He set the plate down on the side table, having finished one slice, and picked up the juice. After drinking half of it, he set it down as well. "I think I'm gonna go back to sleep for a while," he told him; eye lids drooping as he spoke.

"Okay," Tony said in a low voice, registering the unchanged exhaustion in his partner's eyes. "Well, if ya need anything, just let me know. I'll be downstairs." McGee simply nodded as he scooted back down onto the pillow and tugged the blanket up over his shoulders again.

Tony picked up the plate and made his way out of the room, shutting the door almost all the way before heading downstairs. Gibbs was at the table in the kitchen eating one of the omelets Tony had made, when the senior field agent entered and set the dish on the counter.

"Not half bad, DiNozzo," Gibbs commented on the food.

"Thanks, Boss," he said with a grin before fixing himself a plate.

"He comin' down?"

"Went back to sleep. But he ate a piece of toast, so I guess that's better than nothing." Gibbs nodded in agreement, eying the agent before focusing back on his food. Tony sat across from him and began cutting into his omelet. "After we eat, I'm gonna go do that laundry. Need me to grab anything while I'm out?"

Gibbs nodded as he swallowed the mouthful of omelet, "More stuff to make these. If you're stayin' here again, you're makin' these again tomorrow morning."

Tony grinned, "I'm flattered ya like my cooking, Boss. Even if it was intended to entice Probie to come down and eat."

**11 00 11 00 11**

**1600 hours...**

Tim woke with a pounding headache, stumbling his way to the bathroom to turn on the shower. His stomach hurt in an empty sort of way, but he was nauseated beyond belief. The hot water streaming over his body seemed to ease it a bit; numbness taking its place once again.

It was maybe five minutes before he heard a soft knock on the door, followed by Tony's voice, "Hey, McGee? Sorry to interrupt, but Abby's on the phone; wants to know if she can bring you some dinner later..."

"Uh..." Tim quickly shut off the water and opened the curtain. "I'm uh...not hungry," he told him.

Tony moved away from the door for a moment to put the phone to his ear, "Abs, I'm gonna have to call you back." He ended the call and moved back to the door. "Pretty sure she just wants to see you," he called through the door.

"Maybe tomorrow," he sighed.

"She's worried about you, McGee," Tony told him. "You know Abby; she's gonna show up here either way."

McGee opened the bathroom door, walking out with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Well, I'm not gonna be here," he told him before walking past the agent toward the bed. "Thanks for washing my clothes... You didn't have to do that," he picked up the folded items that sat on the edge of the bed.

"No problem. And what do ya mean, you're not gonna be here?"

"I wanna go back to my apartment," he told him as he took some of the clothes back into the bathroom with him, closing the door so he could get dressed in privacy. "I'd appreciate if you could give me lift there."

Tony looked down at the floor. He felt helpless; knowing his friend was in pain, and not being able to do a damn thing to comfort him. Not really. He stepped backward to the end of the bed and sat down. Resting his elbows on his knees, he focused on his hands for a while before he heard the bathroom door open; McGee stepping out, fully dressed now.

"So, can you?" Tim asked.

Tony looked up at him, "Yeah, sure, Probie. No problem." He looked back down at his hands.

McGee sensed something was troubling him. "What's wrong?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

"Nothin'," Tony replied, watching as Tim moved to sit beside him. "Just wondering why you won't let Abby see you, I guess. She's trying to help...trying to do whatever she can to make you feel better."

"I don't need her to do that," he replied, looking away.

"Yeah, but she wants to."

"I don't-" he pushed up from the bed to stand in frustration. "I don't _want_ her to make me feel better, Tony," he told him. "I don't want Abby-hugs or comforting words," he turned to face him. "I want...I want..." he couldn't finish the sentence. It hurt too bad, and he didn't want that to show.

Tony stood and put his hands on Tim's shoulders. "I get it," he told him. "I'll talk to her and she'll get it, too. And yeah, I'll take you to your place," he gently pulled his hands away. "I'll even hang out a bit; knock back a few beers and watch a movie if you want."

Tim shook his head in an almost imperceptible manner, "I just wanna be alone for a while." His eyes were practically pleading, and Tony didn't want to push him.

"Alright," he resigned. "When do you wanna go?"

With a relieved sigh, he replied, "I just need to pack up my things. Thanks, Tony."

**11 00 11 00 11**

**1647 hours...**

Tim entered his apartment, being sure to lock the door behind him. He set his bag down on the floor and walked to the kitchen, fetching a beer from the fridge before heading straight for his bed. Tim drained the bottle quickly before sitting down on the mattress and setting the beer on the side table. He laid down on his back, staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes. Then he turned his head to the pillow beside him.

Turning his body onto his side, he pulled the pillow toward him; hugging it against his body... And he could still smell her on it. The sweet smell of her shampoo and perfume and a smell that was distinctly hers, caused an overwhelming flooding of memories, love, and heartache to hit him all at once. Tim clung to the pillow as if loosening his grasp would mean losing the memory of Kendra. After a few minutes, he became aware that he was sobbing into it.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the tears; couldn't stop the pain in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, tight, against the throbbing pain in his head. He wanted to go back to sleep; back to his dreams where he could see Kendra. He wanted to hold _her_, even if it was only in his head. Soon, his mind gave over to that desire, and he fell into a merciful slumber...

**11 00 11 00 11**

**tbc...**


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey, Zi," Tony said as he answered his cell. "How's everything going on your end?"

_"Not bad," _she replied. _"My friend is doing better. I should be returning Monday. How is McGee?"_

"Honestly, I'm not sure," he sighed. "He won't eat much; he's sleeping almost all the time; doesn't wanna talk..."

_"He is grieving."_

"Yeah, I'm aware, Zee-vah. I'm just...I dunno. I'm worried about him. I feel like I'm not doing anything to help. And when I do try and do something, talk to him or whatever, I feel like I'm just makin' things worse for him."

_"He is simply not ready to talk about it, yet," _she suggested. _"Perhaps he needs some time."_

"That's what Gibbs said."

_"Gibbs would know better than any of us, yes?"_

"Yeah...I guess. He seems a little different since this all happened; Gibbs I mean. He's been withdrawn...or maybe just...I dunno. He seems different."

_"This has, no doubt, brought up some unpleasant memories for him."_

"Clearly," Tony responded with a hint of frustration. "Which is why he should have some kind of idea how to get through to McGoo. But it's almost like he's avoiding him. Not completely...and maybe not even intentionally. After all, he did keep Probie at his house for a couple of days. But it's almost like he's afraid to talk to him."

_"Maybe he is," _Ziva replied.

"Gibbs isn't afraid of anything, Ziva."

_"Yes he is," _she replied flatly. _"He is just braver than most."_

"Like you," he retorted. "Well...I hope he knows what he's doing, then..."

**11 00 11 00 11**

**The next day; 1200 hours...**

Tony pulled up in front of Tim's apartment and cut the engine right as his cell rang. Glancing at the caller ID, he saw it was Gibbs calling. "Hey, Boss," he said as he answered.

_"You hear from McGee today?" _he asked. _"Tried callin' him and it went straight to voice mail."_

"I ran into the same problem. He probably just didn't think to charge it," he assumed. "I just pulled up to his place; picked up lunch on the way here to see if I can't get him to eat something. You want me to have him call you?"

_"Just wanted to check on him," _he replied. _"Since you're there, guess I'll hang back and wait for an update from you."_

"Right. Okay, Boss. Well, I guess I'll give you a call when I leave here..."

_"Just come by, if it's all the same to you."_

'Odd,' Tony thought. "Sure..." the call ended before any more could be said. Phased by the strangeness of the call, Tony shook his head and picked up the pizza box from his passenger seat and headed up toward Tim's door. He knocked softly at first. But gradually it became louder and more insistent, when he didn't answer. "C'mon, Probie, it's me!" he called. "Open up! I come bearing the food of the gods!" he grinned, listening for his partner on the other side of the door. After a few moments, however, his smile faded and was replaced with worry. But right as he reached for something to pick the lock with, the door clicked open. Unexpectedly, McGee took the box from Tony's hand and retreated toward the kitchen. Tony followed, noting the agent was still in the clothes he'd left him in the day before. They were wrinkled and his hair was a bit disheveled. "You just get up?" he asked.

McGee set the box down on the table and sat as he opened the box. "So?" he glanced up at him before grabbing a slice and biting into it.

"Just...wondering," Tony sat down across from him, narrowing his eyes as he studied the man. "I see you got your appetite back." McGee shrugged in response. Tony stood and moved around the table and toward the fridge, "Want me to grab you something to drink?"

"Sure," Tim said with a full mouth.

Tony opened the fridge, noticing its meager contents. "Okay...well, you've got beer...and beer." As difficult a choice as that was, he grabbed two of the bottles and made his way back to the table. "I can go pick a few things up if you want, later," he offered. "Gotta have more than beer to survive." He grabbed a slice of the pizza. "So, ya wanna go do somethin' today, McGoo?"

"Can't," he replied. "Actually...I've gotta go take care of a couple things."

"Need a ride?" Tony asked as he chewed a mouthful of the pizza.

Tim swallowed and looked down at the table top for a moment. "I've gotta pick up Kendra's ashes," he said quietly before meeting Tony's eyes. Slowly, they fell to the table top again. "She really liked the Potomac. Her students are gonna meet me there and we're gonna scatter her ashes there..."

Tony took a silent, deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek. "I'll go with you," he said, finally.

Tim looked up at him again, "You don't have to do that."

"I know," he replied. "But I want to. I know I didn't know her that well, but I really did like her, Tim."

Tony watched as a glimmer of a smile tugged at the corners of McGee's lips, and just as quickly slipped away. "Okay," he said. "Well, I've gotta leave here around three. And we're meeting at half-past. No one's wearing black; Kendra would hate that."

"Think I can handle that," Tony said.

**11 00 11 00 11**

**1510...**

Gibbs sat at his workbench in the basement, looking through a small stack of photos, when he cell rang. Gently setting the stack down, he picked the phone up and answered, "Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Hey, Boss," _Tony's voice rang on the other line. _"Sorry I didn't call sooner, but I've been with McGee this whole time; didn't wanna leave him alone."_

"He okay?" concern washed his voice.

_"Yeah. I'm in the car waiting for him to come out from picking up Kendra's ashes. Then I'll be takin' him over to the Potomac where he's meeting with her students. He's gonna scatter the ashes there."_

"You stayin' with him for that, too?"

_"'Course, Boss. And for as long as he'll let me."_

Gibbs let out a breath, feeling overwhelmed by...perhaps pride at how Tony was handling the situation. "Wish I'd had a friend like you around when I'd needed that..."

_"Boss?"_

"You're doin' good by him, Tony. Call if ya need anything; anything at all," he ended the call before the lump in his throat could cause a break in his voice...

*~.~*

Tony watched as McGee walked to the car carrying a small urn. His face was void of emotion, which frightened Tony, slightly. Tim slipped into the passenger seat and glanced at Tony before slipping on his seat belt.

"You okay, Probie?" Tony asked.

"I'm fine," he replied, flatly. "We gotta get going," he told him as he looked down at the urn in his lap. He was trying to continue his disassociation toward it; trying not to think about what that urn contained. It was difficult; took all of his concentration and willpower to manage it. Nothing else existed outside of that thought...

"McGee!" Tim was pulled from the stronghold by Tony's voice and he turned his head to look at him in question.

Tony's eyes were narrowed as he look at him with concern, "We're here." McGee turned to look out the window, noticing that they were, in fact, at the Potomac. He hadn't even realized they'd driven. He looked back down at the urn in his hands, then opened his door to get out. Tony followed behind him as they made their way to the group of people waiting for them.

Surprisingly enough to Tony, Tim handed the urn to one of the girls and walked further toward the water, decidedly sitting down atop of one of the large rocks that sat near the shoreline. Tony heard a car door close behind him and he turned his head to see Gibbs as he leaned back against the hood of his car. Their eyes met for a moment and Gibbs nodded to him. Tony turned back to Tim and joined him on the rock. "Aren't you gonna go with them?" he asked as he watched the students walk up toward the water.

Tim shook his head, subtly. "I don't wanna hear what they're gonna say," he said quietly. "I can't..." Tony swallowed as he noticed what Tim was holding in his fingers; the ring. They both turned their heads toward the students as they turned the urn; ashes being carried by the wind out over the water.

Tony's eyes shifted to look at Tim, "You okay, man?"

McGee nodded and looked back down at the ring. "Can you gimme a minute?" he asked; voice cracking a bit with his words.

"Yeah, sure," Tony replied, placing a comforting hand on Tim's shoulder for a moment before he stood.

McGee stood as well, still looking at the ring that played between his fingertips. "I miss you," he said in barely a whisper as he looked out over the still water. He could hear her voice as clear as day, in his head; "_I love you, Timothy McGee." _He could still hear her laughter; feel her arms around him... Tim looked back down at the ring. "Goodbye, Kendra," he said before throwing it as far out into the Potomac as he possibly could. As it hit the water, he squeezed his eyes shut, allowing a few tears to trail down his cheeks before wiping them away. When he turned around, he saw Gibbs and Tony standing in the parking lot. Curiously enough, he wasn't surprised to see Gibbs there. It was actually a bit comforting in a way he couldn't quite explain. He found himself walking toward them.

"Ready to leave already?" Tony asked.

"I'm really tired," McGee replied as he stopped in front of them.

"Sure you won't let us buy you a drink or somethin'?" Gibbs offered.

McGee met his eyes briefly, "Maybe another time. I just...really need to go to bed."

Gibbs put a hand on Tim's shoulder, "You need anything, just call."

McGee nodded and gave him a small smile before moving toward the passenger side of Tony's car. Gibbs went back to his own car, sharing a glance with Tony before the senior agent got into the driver seat.

"Thanks for driving me around," Tim told Tony as he closed his door. "I appreciate it."

"Not a problem at all," he said as he started the engine and looked over at his partner. "Sure you don't wanna go for a drink? Might help you sleep better..." McGee shook his head; his eyelids drooping. "At least let me pick you up some groceries after I drop you home?"

McGee turned his head to look at him, "Why do you wanna do all this stuff for me?"

Tony furrowed his brows, "I told you before, Tim. You're my friend and I wanna help, however you'll let me."

Tim looked down at his lap. "If you wanna pick a few things up, I guess that'd be okay."

Tony grinned as they headed toward the apartment. "Anything specific you'd like?"

"A bottle of Jack," he smirked.

Tony's grin grew a bit as he glanced at him, "That won't be a problem, but only if you let me stay and have a drink with ya."

"When I'm ready to do that, I'll let you know. Right now, though, I just wanna go to bed..."

**11 00 11 00 11**

Tony let himself back into Tim's apartment after having made his trip to a couple of stores. He was careful to be quiet, knowing the agent was probably sleeping by now. He set the bags on the counter before walking around the shelves to confirm it. McGee was curled on his right side, clutching a pillow to his chest. His heart ached for his friend; the pain he must be feeling.

Tony turned to go back to the kitchen to put away the groceries, then checked on Tim once more before leaving and locking the door behind him. He made his way to his car as he pulled out his cell and dialed Gibbs...

*~.~*

Gibbs poured a cup of coffee in his kitchen right as he cell began to ring. He saw it was DiNozzo on the ID before answering, "Gibbs."

_"Hey, Boss. Just...giving you an update, I guess. McGee's sleepin' again. He let me get him some groceries."_

"You tuck him in, too?" he smirked.

_"Funny, Boss. I'm just tryin' to make sure he's okay..."_

"Yeah, I know. So what're ya doin' the rest of the day?" he asked as he made his way down the basement steps.

_"Might grab a bite to eat, somewhere. Maybe a beer. Guess I'll play it by ear after that."_

"You should take Abby with you," he suggested.

_"She been callin' a lot?"_

"She's worried about McGee, yeah. Might be helpful to hear somethin' from you about how he's doin'. She knows you've had his six this past week an' a half."

_"It'd probably be better if McGee would let her in," _he said with a sigh. _"She just wants to help make him feel better, but he's pretty adamant about not being cheered up."_

"I get that," Gibbs replied as he set down his mug on the workbench. "He'll come around, eventually."

_"Yeah, you've said that before."_

"And you don't believe me?" he said as his brows shot up.

_"Not that I don't believe ya, Boss. Maybe I'm just having extreme empathy or something, but my gut's tellin' me to stay alert."_

"Your gut tellin' you _why_?" Gibbs narrowed his eyes.

_"Does _your _gut ever give specifics, Boss?" _the smirk could be heard through the phone. _"It's more like a spidey-sense."_

"Spidey-sense?"

_"Nothin', Boss. Never mind. I'll give Abs a call."_

**11 00 11 00 11**

After having dinner and a long conversation with Abby, easing her mind to an acceptable extent and convincing her to be patient about seeing him, Tony headed to the office to busy his mind with cold cases. It worked for a while, but he kept finding himself glancing at McGee's desk, remembering how happy the guy had been; telling him about his plans to propose... Just being more happy than he'd probably ever seen Tim in a long time.

McGee always had the worst luck with women, but this was different. This wasn't something that simply didn't work out; wasn't a con or someone using him for kicks or espionage. Tim and Kendra were the real deal, and she'd been ripped from his hands without warning.

Tony thought of Jeanne. Sure, he'd lost her, but it was something he'd know would happen. Of course, she didn't die...she was simply gone. The entire relationship was based on lies and built on false presumptions. He'd know from the start that the undercover mission would end in heartbreak, at least for Jeanne. He'd allowed himself to fall in love with her, despite always knowing in the back of his mind that it would end.

McGee, however, had no idea what'd hit him. Tony wasn't even sure it _had_ fully hit him yet. That's, perhaps, what scared him the most. Tim had been escaping into sleep for the better part of the past week and a half. Tony had tried to get him to talk, without being forceful about it in any way; tried to be around in case his probie had a lucid moment and decided he wanted someone to let it out to. But it seemed, as Gibbs said, that they'd have to give him more time. He just hoped it would be soon...

**11 00 11 00 11**

It was dark out when Tim was pulled from his sleep by an overwhelming flooding of nausea. Rolling out of bed, he quickly made a b-line for the bathroom and dropped to his knees in front of the toilet before retching into it. It was a good, or rather horrifying, five minutes before his body stopped heaving. He slammed the lid down and flushed the handle before resting his head on the closed toilet to catch his breath.

Something caught his eye in the trash bin beside the sink. He reached over to pull the can closer and pulled out the item. "Pregnancy test?" he questioned as he looked at the box in confusion. Dropping it to the floor, he dug through the contents of the can to find the test stick. The read-out caused something inside of him to snap and break. His chest tightened, making him feel like he couldn't breathe, and his eyes burned along with the pounding that had already taken residence in his head.

The darkness that had clouded his mind since seeing Kendra's dead body, had suddenly consumed every part of him that had any glimmer of hope left for the pain to ever go away. As he sat there on the floor staring at his discovery, he knew what he would have to do now...

**11 00 11 00 11**

**tbc...**


	12. Chapter 12

Tony rubbed a hand down his face and glanced at the clock. It was nearly midnight; time to pack up. He began closing up files and sticking them in their proper places in the filing cabinet. An alert sounded on his computer, letting him know he'd received an email. "That was fast," he said, assuming it was from an officer he'd attempted to contact not an hour earlier. He cocked his head at the screen when he saw it was from McGee. Tony opened the email;

_ Tony,_

_ Thanks for helping me out with everything lately. I'm sorry I haven't been completely accepting about it. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for everything... You helped to make me the agent I was, and you always had my six. You've been the best friend I've ever had. I'm sorry I did this to you all._

_ Goodbye._

_ Tim._

Electric fear ran through Tony's chest. He grabbed his phone and keys and tore toward the elevator as he dialed Tim's number. Of course, it went straight to voice mail. As he boarded the elevator and slammed the button for the garage, he dialed Gibbs' number. He didn't pick up till the doors opened again and Tony was tearing toward his car.

_"Yeah. Gibbs."_

"We've got an emergency, Boss..."

**11 00 11 00 11**

Tim set the sealed envelope with a letter to his family beside the computer and walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of the Jack that Tony had gotten for him earlier. He downed it in one shot and set the glass in the sink as he coughed from the burn in his throat. "Might as well get this over with," he said to himself as he made his way to his nightstand to grab his gun...

**11 00 11 00 11**

Tony burst through the door to McGee's apartment and frantically began to scan each room until he heard the cocking of a gun coming from the bathroom.

"I'm sorry..." he heard Tim say as he approached the door.

"Don't you dare," Tony said; his voice cracking as he caught sight of his partner in the tub.

McGee flinched, "Tony...you're not supposed to be here."

"The hell I'm not. You emailed me."

"You weren't supposed to get that till morning," he replied flatly.

Tony walked further into the bathroom and knelt down beside the tub, "Why are you doing this, Tim?" he asked in barely a whisper.

McGee pushed further away from him, up against the wall, "You need to leave. I'm not gonna do this in front of you."

"I'm not leaving."

"Well then let me rephrase," he said with a bit of anger in his voice. "I don't _want_ to do this in front of you."

"Please gimme the gun, McGee," Tony asked calmly. "Told you to call me if you were gonna drink tonight."

"I made this decision before I had anything to drink, Tony."

"At least...at least put it down, if you're not gonna hand it over. You're scaring the hell outta me." Tim met his eyes, noticing they were welling with tears.

"You'll try to take it from me."

"I'm not gonna get into a gun-struggle with you and end up shot, McGoo."

After a few long moments, Tim slowly lowered his gun, but held it firmly in his hand in his lap and kept his eyes on it. "Ya know..." he began, "The last three times I talked to her, I didn't tell her I loved her." Tony kept a trained eye on his friend as he talked, careful not to alert him that he'd heard Gibbs enter the apartment nearly silent. "We were gonna have a baby..." he said so quietly, Tony almost didn't hear it.

Tony wasn't sure how to respond. "You never told me that."

"Didn't know...just found out tonight," he glanced over at the trash bin.

Tony followed his line of sight, seeing the evidence that had revealed the sad truth to his partner. "I'm sorry..." he said as he looked back at his friend with sympathy written clearly on his face. Tim's face remained downcast, tears silently streaming. "But this isn't how to deal with the pain."

"I don't want to _deal_ with it anymore," his voice broke. "I want it to go away."

"This isn't how to make it go away, Tim. Let me help you...please." McGee squeezed his eyes shut. "What you said in the email," he started. "About thinkin' of me like you're best friend... I feel the same way. In fact, you're like a brother to me, McGee." Tim looked over at him then. "I can't begin to know how painful this is for you. But...godamnit, Tim...if I'd walked in here tomorrow and found you dead..." he own voice cracked then and Tim flinched. "Don't do that to me, man. Please..."

"I...I didn't wanna hurt you, Tony," he said with conflicting emotion on his face. "That's not what I was trying to do."

"You know we care about you, right?"

"I care about you all, too," he said quietly as he looked back down at his hands.

"I wish you would've called me."

"Tony, I didn't want help," he looked at him again. "I didn't wanna be talked out of this."

"Well, I'm not letting you do this," he leaned forward and Tim panicked, bring the gun up to his temple again with widened eyes. "Wait!" Tony backed up and held up his hands, horrified. "Tim, no!"

"Just leave, Tony!" he yelled.

"McGee!" Tim was startled by Gibbs sudden presence in the doorway.

"B...Boss?" the youngest agent was at a loss for what to do; embarrassed of his current position, but angered at the fact that his plans had been further interrupted. "Gibbs...you and Tony need to leave."

Gibbs shook his head and sat down on the edge of the tub, "Can't do that, Tim." Gibbs looked at the stunned senior field agent and motioned with his head for him to leave the room. Reluctantly, the agent stood, brow still furrowed and face still washed with uncertainty, and he walked out of the bathroom. Gibbs turned to look at Tim.

McGee had lowered the gun a bit, holding it securely with both hands as he searched his boss's face. "I'm not as strong as you, Boss," he said in barely a whisper.

"Yeah, you are," he replied with narrowed eyes. Tim shook his head and looked down at Gibbs' chest. "I'm gonna tell ya somethin' I've never told anyone before. And I'm tellin' ya because I _know_ how strong you are." Tim furrowed his brow as he met Gibbs' eyes again. "After I got back home, after finding out Shannon and Kelly had been killed..." he swallowed and looked down at his lap. "I was sitting on the beach with a gun in my hands," he met Tim's eyes again. "Didn't take me long to think that was the only way out."

McGee blinked rapidly as he processed that information, surprised that Gibbs, of all people, had gotten to that point. "What made you change your mind?" he asked.

Gibbs looked at him for a long moment, "I knew it would've broken their hearts." Tim looked away, his eyes darting around in the air in front of him as the words sunk in. "I know how much it hurts. And I know it seems like this is the answer, but it's not. I didn't have anyone left to tell me there was any other way, but you do. You've got a family who loves you, and friends who love you and care about you, too. And even though the pain won't ever go away completely, it _will_ get easier. You just gotta let us be here for you...even when it seems like everything's gone to hell." He reached a hand over to McGee's which held the gun. When Tim didn't flinch away, Gibbs took hold of the weapon, and McGee let him take it from him.

After putting the safety back on, he set it down on the sink and turned back to Tim; fresh tears streaming down the agent's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Boss," he said quietly. "You're right...I should've talked to you...to Tony..."

"Not too late for that, now," Gibbs told him and pulled the younger man into an brief hug before standing and helping him out.

"Boss, I'm sorry..."

"Sign of weakness, McGee," he told him. "Letting go of the gun shows you're not." He followed Tim out of the bathroom. Both of them were surprised to see Tony standing up against the wall in the hallway, pale as a ghost and hugging his arms around his chest. As Gibbs approached him, he realized the agent was shaking. He put his hands on his arms, "Hey."

"I- I wasn't going for the gun," he said, eyes darting around till they met his. "My foot was asleep...I was just...just shifting..."

"Tony," McGee spoke up as he moved closer. "I'm sorry." Gibbs realized Tony was in some form of shock. Having tried to talk his partner out of suicide was one thing, but almost having caused the man to prematurely pull the trigger...who knew what was running through his head in this moment. Gibbs back away from him a bit, dropping his hands and going toward the kitchen to get them all something to drink. McGee stepped in front of Tony, their eyes meeting before he continued to talk. "I'm sorry," he told him once more. "It won't happen again. I won't do it again, Tony, please believe me," his voice shook. "I...didn't think you all cared this much. I was only thinking of myself, and I never meant to hurt any of you. I won't do it again..."

Tony found himself pulling the younger agent into a tight embrace. McGee, just as surprised, found himself hugging him back, just as tightly. "I love ya, McGoo...ya know that, right?" McGee's eyes darted around the wall behind Tony. He could only respond by holding onto him even tighter.

After a few moments, Gibbs returned in the hallway with a few bottles of water in his hands. "Both of you are comin' to my place," he told them. They pulled away from each other and looked at him in slight confusion. "We did it your way for a while, Tim. But now we're doin' it my way. Don't argue with me."

Tim shook his head, "Okay. I- I just have to fix some things..." he went to his computer and turned on the screen.

"Do it in the morning," Gibbs suggested.

"I can't wait till then," Tim said. "I don't know how Tony's email got sent already, but I'm not gonna have anyone else read these and freak out." One by one, McGee deleted the messages, then picked up the envelope and stuck it into the shredder.

"What was that?" Tony inquired.

"Letter to my family," he replied then looked up at him before standing.

"Wow. You really had this all...planned out," Tony's brow furrowed.

Tim's eyes flicked back and forth between Tony and Gibbs. "That's...kinda how I function. Why should this have been any different?"

**11 00 11 00 11**

The ride to Gibbs' house had been quiet. Tim had taken the guest room and passed out fairly quickly. Tony took the couch, doing the same after having a glass of bourbon with Gibbs. Gibbs, however, remained awake; keeping silent vigil over his agents as he sat at the kitchen table. A cold-case file kept him company, and he had no intent on going to bed until he could call Ducky in the morning to come over...

*~.~*

_"I'm sorry..." McGee's voice sounded from the bathroom. _

_ Tony quickly made his way toward it, "Don't-"_

_ *BANG*_

_ Tim's blood sprayed over the tile wall as his body went limb. "NO!" Tony scrambled toward him, scooping him up out of the tub and into his lap. Frantically, he applied pressure to the agent's bleeding wounds._

_ "Tony?" Gibbs appeared moments later in the doorway. _

_ Tony looked up at him, feeling the hot tears streaming down the cold skin on his face, "I was too late...too late, Boss..." he cried, holding McGee against his chest. _

_ "DiNozzo..."_

_ "I couldn't save him..."_

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs shook his senior field agent by the shoulders, causing him to wake up, finally.

"Boss..." his voice cracked and his face was wet with tears. "Couldn't save him."

"You were just dreamin'," Gibbs told him, realizing his friend was still in some halfway state of consciousness.

Tony blinked a few times before pushing to sit up. "Is it morning?" he asked as he ran a hand down his face.

"Just about. Ducky's on his way here to check McGee over."

"He still sleeping?" he asked. Gibbs nodded. "I just need to...check on him," he stood and made his way to the stairs.

Gibbs made his way to the kitchen and rifled through the contents of the refrigerator in search for something to make for breakfast. He decided on home fries, sausage and toast. As he gathered the items he'd need onto the counter, Tony returned. "Want some help?" he asked as he approached Gibbs.

"Won't fight ya," he replied as he slid the package of sausages over to him. "I take it he's still asleep?"

"Yeah," he put a frying pan on the stove and turned on the burner.

"You wanna talk about what had you yellin' in your sleep?" he asked as Tony put the sausage into the pan.

Tony took a breath as he pushed the links around with a spatula. "Just uh...something I couldn't get outta my head after last night," he explained. Gibbs waited patiently for him to continue. "If I'd been...three seconds later," he said quietly. "It would've been too late, Boss," he glanced at him.

"But you weren't," Gibbs reminded him, narrowing his eyes. "You saved him, Tony."

"Not really," he shook his head as he continued cooking. "I slowed him down; almost made him jump the gun again...no pun intended."

"Tony..."

"If you hadn't stepped in, I would've screwed it all up," he glanced briefly back at his boss and quickly back down at the pan, but Gibbs didn't miss the fact that the agent was near tears.

"Hey," he approached closely to him and smacked the back of his head, causing Tony to straighten a little. "I wouldn't have known to be there if you hadn't called me," he reminded him. "And you don't know what would've happened. He just got scared. I'm sure you could've talked him out of it... I only stepped in because I wanted to talk to him; let him understand that I knew what he was goin' through." Tony looked at him then. "I wouldn't have had that chance, if you hadn't figured out what was happening when ya did."

Tony seemed as if he was going to respond, when they heard Ducky come through the front door. "Something certainly smells inviting," the doctor said as he made his way to the kitchen.

"You're more than welcome to join us, Duck," Gibbs told him. "Thanks for coming."

"Not a problem, Jethro. Good morning, Anthony. Where's young Timothy?"

"Still in bed," Gibbs told him as he put the potatoes into another pan.

"I know you called to have me come check him over, but you didn't elaborate on why. Is he ill?" he asked as he sat at the table.

Tony glanced at Gibbs. "Not sick," Gibbs told him. "Just wanna make sure he's okay. He had a rough night. If you could just...be observant when he comes down, I'd appreciate it."

Ducky got a curious look on his face. "Did something happen that I should be made aware of?" he asked. He watched as Tony ducked his head a bit, though his face was out of view. He looked to Gibbs. "Jethro?"

"Somethin' he'll have to tell you himself, if he decides to," Gibbs told him.

Ducky met Gibbs' glare, "No offense, but how do you expect me to make observations without some bit of knowledge pertaining to what I'm supposed to be looking for?"

They heard the water turn on for the upstairs shower and Tony turned to look at Gibbs. "He's right, Boss. McGee probably won't be up for rehashing. And I'm pretty sure Ducky won't go blabbing about it."Gibbs swiped a hand down his face and sighed. Then he told Ducky what all had happened; what Tim had discovered and what means he'd gone through in preparation to end his life.

For a few long moments, the doctor was at a loss for words. "Well...quite disturbing, what young Timothy has been through. Not altogether unsurprising that he came to such a conclusion...and had it been any other person, I'd find the thorough planning quite worrisome. However, it would seem that you both not only came to his rescue, but helped him to realize that he is, in fact, not alone. I'm afraid, though, that my presence this morning may raise questions in his trust in your faith in him."

"Don't you think he should talk about this, though?" Tony asked.

"Yes, I do," Ducky replied. "But he should choose to approach someone with it; not have it forced upon him."

"What do we do in the meantime?"

"What you've _been_ doing; stay with him. Be there for him. Keep a steady watch on him, but don't make it obvious. If you see a sudden dramatic change in behavior, regardless what direction it may seem to go, then you'll need to keep on high alert. I'll be around if he should choose to talk to me about what he's going through, but until then, he needs his friends to remain his friends and not his investigators."

The agents remained silent as the pondered the doctor's suggestions. "You may want to pay better attention to breakfast," Ducky said as he smelled the slight burning of the sausage. Tony whipped back around to the pan and remedied the situation. "That said, I'll take my leave," Ducky stood from the table. "And a raincheck on breakfast," he winked. Gibbs walked Ducky to the door, thanking him for coming by, then returned to the kitchen.

After breakfast was ready, Tim showed up in the kitchen looking much better than he had the night before. "Perfect timing," Tony told him with a small smile. "And don't tell me you're not hungry. You're practically wasting away."

"I'm a little hungry," McGee replied as he eyed the food and slipped into one of the chairs.

Gibbs sat as well, coffee in hand, allowing Tony to do the doting instead of both of them bombarding the agent with hospitality that might be interpreted as something else. Tony grinned at Tim's willingness to eat, plopping a plate down in front of him before grabbing his own and sitting as well. "Sleep okay?" he asked.

"Actually, yeah," Tim replied as he examined the items on his plate by pushing them around with his fork. "I've been sleeping a lot, lately. But I think I actually rested this time."

Tony nodded with a smile playing on his lips, which he expertly hid by shoving a large forkful of potatoes into his mouth. Gibbs was about to say something, when his cell rang. Wiping his hands on a napkin, he pulled the phone from his pocket and answered, "Yeah. Gibbs." Tony glanced up at him from his plate, noting a flash of concern, but also one of amusement. "What happened?" he asked the person on the other line as he stood. "Alright. I'll be right there." The call ended and he met Tony's eyes for a moment.

"Something wrong, Boss?" he asked.

"Ziva just got out to the parking lot at the airport; her car was towed. I'm gonna go pick her up. I'll be back," he said as he grabbed his keys and headed out.

Tony glanced over at McGee who was eating faster than he probably should. "Slow down there, Probie," he told him. "Ya don't want that comin' back up on ya."

"Sorry," he said as he slowed. "Guess I really am hungry after all. And this is good."

"Glad you like it," Tony said as he looked back down at his own plate.

McGee looked over at him, noting that Tony looked like he hadn't slept quite as well. He was suddenly washed with a feeling of guilt. "Hey, Tony?" Tony looked at him again. "I'm sorry...about what happened." Tony shook his head. "No, really. You shouldn't have had to walk in on that. I shouldn't have let myself get to that point, especially since you tried so hard to help me."

"You don't need to explain yourself, McGee," he replied flatly.

"That's not what I'm trying to do," he retorted. "I was being selfish. It wasn't about missing her anymore... It was about what I'd be missing out on from that point on. That wasn't fair to any of _you_. I was so busy focusing on things that could never be, that I'd set aside the fact that there's still a life for me here." Tony listened quietly; intently. "When I sat down to write those emails, part of me was screaming...things I couldn't hear because I was too clouded and overrun with the need for it all to just go away. But now I know what it was saying; I didn't wanna say goodbye. Didn't wanna leave. I'd said my goodbyes to Kendra. She isn't coming back," his voice cracked. "And I do miss her... But she wouldn't want me to be miserable," he looked down at his plate. "And I wouldn't have wanted to do that to all of you, either." He felt a hand on his shoulder, and realized Tony had moved into the chair next to him. "She made me a better person," he continued, then met Tony's eyes. "But so have you."

Tony narrowed his eyes, "You aren't gonna kiss me, are ya, McRomeo?"

McGee's face broke out in a wide grin as he shoved his partner for the comment. Tony's eyes widened as he lost his balance and went tumbling to the floor. "Shit!" Tim stood, "I'm sorry!" he held a hand out to help him up, but Tony was laughing; possibly at himself for having fallen. McGee couldn't help but to laugh along with him as Tony grabbed his hand and pulled himself up.

They stood there for a moment as the laughter died down, and Tony clenched his jaw. "Ya know...I'm really glad your computer decided to malfunction."

Tim squinted, "Actually, I'm not sure why it did. I sent the emails out as a group; every one but yours did what it was supposed to. If it'd been anyone else's that decided to be sent, besides yours, they wouldn't have seen it till it was too late." He watched as Tony swallowed a lump in his throat. "It's almost like it was...divine intervention. Like Gibbs said-"

"Gibbs suggested divine intervention?" Tony interrupted.

Tim shook his head with a smirk, "He said it would've broken her heart."

Tony stood there a moment, contemplating what had been said. Then he grinned and headed for the freezer, "You want some ice cream?"

"What?" Tim furrowed a brow. "It's six in the morning. And I thought we were voting against me throwing up."

"C'mooooon. Ya threw nearly 4k into the Potomac yesterday, and you're scoffing ice cream for breakfast? Live a little!"

Tim shook his head with a smile playing on his face. Tony turned around with the pint in one hand and an ice cream scooper in the other. Tim rolled his eyes, "Okay. Maybe one scoop." Tony made a sound of victory as he reached for bowls in the cupboard. McGee sank back down in his chair as he thought about what could've almost been. He was glad he'd been stopped. He didn't want to leave his life; his friends. He loved them, and he was fairly certain they loved him too.

Though it would be a difficult road ahead, Tim knew he'd have his friends around to help him through it. And, by God, he'd do his best to get there. He wouldn't let his team down again...

**~Fin~**

**11 00 11 00 11**

**A/N: I've got a really messed up alternate ending in mind, if you want me to do it, posting as another chapter, let me know!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Alternate Ending**

**A/N: You're not gonna like it... but sometimes, that's how I roll...**

**11 00 11 00 11**

_"We've got an emergency, Boss," _Tony's voice sounded panicked on the other line.

"McGee?"

_"Yeah. Just got a disturbing email. I'm on my way to his place right now."_

"Disturbing email?" he inquired as he grabbed his keys and headed out to his car.

_"I think he's gonna try and kill himself..." _his voice cracked. _"I shouldn't have left him alone."_

"You just get over there, Tony. I'm on my way. I'll call an ambulance."

Gibbs was shouting into his cell as he sped down the street, telling the dispatcher where to send the ambulance. It seemed to take forever to get to McGee's apartment. As he parked in front, he saw the awkward parking job Tony had made of his own car before jogging up the steps...

*~.~*

"I'm sorry..." Tony heard McGee's voice coming from the bathroom and he quickly approached the doorway to see the gun at Tim's temple.

"Don't-" his voice was overridden by the gunshot. Tony froze; all breath leaving his body and his ears ringing. His eyes wide with disbelief, he watched the blood splatter drip down the shower wall where Tim's body was now slumped lifelessly. "No..." Tony's legs decided to work now as he approached the tub and pulled his friend from it. Tim was surprisingly light, but Tony stumbled to the floor with the man in his arms. "McGee?" he looked at the agent's face as he tried to find a pulse. "McGee!" he yelled, shaking him; trying desperately to believe that he was still alive. "Tim..."

*~.~*

Gibbs had paused briefly on the stairs when he heard the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, then resumed his quick pace up to McGee's apartment. The door was already open and he made his way quickly toward the bathroom where he heard Tony's voice. "Oh God..." Gibbs felt his heart sink in his chest at the display before him. Tony clung tightly to his partner, rocking back and forth as he hugged the man against his chest. Tim's arms dangled lifelessly behind him, blood surrounding the agents and leading from the tub, where it was clear he'd shot himself in.

Gibbs heard the ambulance siren as it pulled into the lot and he pulled himself from his stunned state. Sure, he'd seen more gruesome scenes in his lifetime, but this was...obviously different. This was personal...

"Tony..." he crouched down beside them, not taking his eyes away from his senior agent's face. His friend's mind was elsewhere, unwilling to take notice of anything besides the man in his arms. Tears brimmed his eyes, yet hadn't spilled over, and his breathing was shallow and quick. "Tony, the paramedics are here," he told him quietly. "We gotta give 'em room." Tony didn't respond with more than a blink, which sent the tears streaming down his face. Gibbs decidedly positioned himself to pull McGee from Tony's arms.

"No!" Tony yelled to no one in particular as he clung tighter to Tim's body.

"Let go," Gibbs told him.

"No..." Tony shook his head, but his arms lost all strength and Gibbs took the opportunity to pull Tim from him. McGee's body was light, Gibbs discovered, and he carried him in his arms like a child, cradling the young man as he looked at his face. His eyes stung; burned as he looked at the obviously dead agent. As he entered the hallway, the medics entered the apartment and he laid Tim on the gurney for them.

Flashing his badge, he explained what had happened and watched as they confirmed that Tim was dead... Tony stepped slowly out into the hallway as they covered Tim with a blanket then covered the young agent's head. The sharp intake of breath Gibbs heard behind him, caused him to turn in Tony's direction.

Tony was covered in Tim's blood, standing there in the hall with a look of pure horror in his eyes. Gibbs approached him as he began to shake and nearly collapse. He reached out and grabbed his arms before he could. "I was too late, Boss," Tony's voice was more broken than Gibbs had ever heard before.

"Not your fault, Tony," he shook his head.

"Three seconds..." he retorted as he throat constricted and he choked a sob. "If I could've gotten here...three seconds sooner..."

Gibbs pulled his friend into a tight embrace, cradling his head against his shoulder and petting the back of his head in efforts to comfort him on some level. They both lost a friend, but Tony had witnessed it...and clearly wasn't dealing well with that fact at all. He felt the agent begin to shake more violently. "C'mon, Tony," he said as he pulled gently away and led him toward the couch. "You need to calm down."

"McGee's dead..." Tony said in disbelief as Gibbs sat him down.

"I know," he said in barely a whisper, then pulled out his phone to call Ducky.

"Why...why did he do it, Boss?" he met his eyes for the first time that night.

Gibbs shook his head, "I don't know."

_"Jethro? Is everything alright?" _Ducky's voice sounded on the other line.

"No, it's not," Gibbs replied. "I need you to come to Tim's place."

**11 00 11 00 11**

"Dear God..." Ducky was alarmed at the sight of Tony covered in blood where he sat on the couch. "Why haven't you called for an ambulance?"

"Not his blood, Duck," Gibbs told him.

"Well, he's obviously in shock," he said as he approached the agent and pulled a throw over his shoulders. "What happened?" he asked as he felt Tony's forehead and checked his heart rate. When he looked over at Gibbs, he realized the lead agent was chewing his bottom lip; a sorrowful look in his eyes as they seemed to focus somewhere in the air in front of him. Then it hit him, like walking into a brick wall, as he looked at the blood that covered the agent in front of him, and the blood all over Gibbs clothes as well. "Where is Timothy?" he asked, looking back at Gibbs.

Gibbs shook his head and closed his eyes briefly, before motioning for Ducky to look in the bathroom. Ducky stood and went to the small room, gasping in disbelief at the scene in front of him. Seeing McGee's gun in the tub and the bullet-hole in the shower wall, surrounded by a bloody mess, it didn't take long to figure out what had happened. He couldn't speak.

"Tony walked in right as it happened," he told him, now standing behind the older man.

Ducky spun around to face him, "Timothy is dead, then?" he asked quietly. Gibbs gave a small and regrettable nod. Ducky swallowed, ducking his head a bit as he felt tears sting his eyes. Quickly pulling himself together, he took a breath. "We must attend to Anthony, then." He pushed past Gibbs and went to Tony who was staring off at nothing in particular. "Fetch him some water, will you, Jethro," he requested. Then under his breath, "Abigail will be so devastated..."

Tony suddenly began to sob, loudly. "Oh god..." he cried, bending forward until his head was in his lap.

"Anthony," Ducky put a hand on his back. "It's alright..."

"I shouldn't have listened to him...I should've let Abby see him. She's gonna be so angry..." his cries turned into a desperate attempt to breathe. He felt the couch dip beside him and another hand on his back.

"Tony," Gibbs said calmly. "C'mere," he helped Tony to sit back up, then handed him a glass of water. "You let me worry about Abby. I need you to take care of _yourself_ right now. Or at least let me help you."

"Jethro is quite right, dear boy. I know how much you hate hospitals. So let's avoid it, shall we?"

**11 00 11 00 11**

Gibbs had brought Tony home with him, helped him to change and get into bed. The senior agent had woken his boss several times that night with screams that escaped his nightmares. Each time, Gibbs had gone into the guest room to calm him, eventually deciding to stay there with him.

Ziva called the next morning, needing a ride from the airport, and they both went to get her. She was slightly phased by their appearance when she approached the car; sensing something was horribly wrong. Tony stood leaning back on the passenger door as Gibbs took her luggage and placed it in the trunk. "Are you alright, Tony?" she asked. "You do not look well."

He blinked, unsure of how to answer the question. Then he felt and heard the trunk slam closed, and Gibbs was standing beside Ziva. "We've got some bad news," he told her in a quiet voice. She turned to face him with a furrowed brow. "It's McGee..."

She tilted her head, slowly, registering the hurt in his eyes, and turning to see the same in Tony's. "He's dead," Tony told her.

Her eyes darted back and forth in the air, "What?" The question came out as air; her eyes welling quickly with tears...

**11 00 11 00 11**

When Gibbs arrived in Abby's lab, she was in tears. It shocked him a bit, seeing as no one had been in yet to tell her. He approached the stool she was sitting on in front of her computer, facing away from him, hunched over. "Abs?" he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Do you know?" she said through tears before turning to face him. "Of course you know...you're Gibbs."

"Who told you?" he asked as he pulled her into a hug.

"Timmy," she cried. "In an email... I went to his apartment this morning."

"You shouldn't have done that, Abby."

"I think I know what sent him over the edge," she pulled away, forcing herself into professional mode as she went to the evidence table. Holding up an evidence bag, she explained, "He must've found this, Gibbs. It was in the bathroom trash."

"What is it?" he asked from where he stood.

"A pregnancy test," she told him. "Kendra was pregnant...did he tell you that? He didn't tell me that, Gibbs. He didn't even let me meet her. He didn't even tell her we were friends. He wouldn't even let me see him after she died... What did I do to him, Gibbs? Why did he push me away?"

Gibbs hushed her nervous rambling by pulling her into another embrace. "I'm sorry, Abs," he told her, rubbing her back as she cried into his shoulder. He had no comforting answers...

**11 00 11 00 11**

Ziva fought hard against threatening tears as she closed the email McGee had sent her. Her eyes drifted to Tony who had his elbows propped on his desk. He was staring over at McGee's empty chair with a lost look in his eyes. "Tony," she called. He didn't respond, or give any indication he'd even heard her. She stood from her chair and walked over to his desk, sitting on the edge of it without blocking his view of McGee's desk.

He looked up at her. "I shouldn't have left him alone," he said as he looked back at McGee's chair.

"This is not your fault."

"Isn't it?" he looked at her again, slightly angry. "He was my friend. He was in pain and I just left him alone..."

"You cannot possibly blame yourself for this, Tony. It is not your fault-"

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is, does it?" he retorted. "McGee's dead because I was a few seconds too late to stop him..." his voice cracked as he pushed out of his chair and retreated to the restroom. She considered following him, but Gibbs rounded the corner and entered the bullpen just moments later.

"You get an email from McGee?" he asked her.

"I did," she replied.

"Abby got one, too. Obviously, so did DiNozzo," he said as he sat at his desk.

"He probably sent one to you, as well," she said.

Gibbs opened his normally untouched email and found McGee's immediately. He hesitated to open the note, but couldn't refuse the man's final goodbye.

_Boss,_

_ Thanks for giving me the chance to be part of your team. It was a great honor working with you. I know I'm taking the coward's way out, but you have to understand, better than anyone, how much it hurts. Thanks for taking care of me._

_ -McGee_

Gibbs boiled over with anger toward himself. He _did_ understand how badly it hurt...and he'd allowed this to happen anyway... He stood, angrily tossing the monitor from his desk to the floor, earning gasps from every agent on the floor. Without paying them any mind, he stalked to the elevator, never once looking back...

**~Fin~**

**11 00 11 00 11**

**A/N: told you... ;)**

**Love? Hate? Lemme know either way~ Thanks!**


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